Lets Inspire

Most people tend to have the belief that the subconscious mind is simply a small additional tool to leverage when trying to attract a woman. They have the belief that if they can consciously learn and remember everything, they can find the one girl they want, woo her with all their new found skills, marry her and never have to be rejected… ever!

Hehe… yea… right….

Unfortunately (and Fortunately) the subconscious mind plays a much much larger role than you could ever imagine in every interaction you have with women. I’d go as far as saying 80 to 90% of attraction you create with women is based on your subconscious mind.

When I finally realized this everything changed, and so many things started to make sense.

This is why so many guru’s are going “it’s so easy, you just talk to the girl and she wants to sleep with you”, then newbies are going “oh cool! I don’t even need routines anymore” and getting blown out of set after set.

This is why so many guys appear to break all the rules of *the game* but are still constantly flooded with girls wanting to sleep with them.

This is why you’ll never improve your success with women by reading a lot of books, and if you don’t constantly apply what you learn over and over you’re never going to get good.

90% of all your thoughts, actions, intentions etc are unconscious. Your subconcious beliefs, rules and values will all shape every interaction you have with every girl.

You can’t try and be conscious of everything, it’s too overwhelming and you’d go crazy.

So how do we get around this problem? You take what works for others, and you practice it until it works for you!

The problem with the unconscious mind is all it does is form patterns of x leads to y leads to z, whether that is a good thing or not doesn’t matter, it just generalizes from your past. Which is why it’s so incredibly hard to go from geek to just average because all the patterns you are seeing usually go “Approach leads to cold shoulder leads to rejection leads to me feeling sad”.

That’s why 90% of guys in the community leave within 6 months, they never get over that hurdle of breaking through their minds patterns and give up. The point of routines now is to start giving you at least some success.

Because as much as some companies love to preach it, if you are a newbie you’re going to struggle getting better with women by just talking to them, because you’ll still be saying the stupid things you’ve always said which build no attraction at all.

Same goes with being advanced, you can’t keep doing the same thing over and over else you’re subconscious mind will get stuck in that rut, and you’ll never improve.The best way to keep learning is keep a journal or write up a report every time you get home from being out clubbing on what you did right and wrong, then work on these aspects of your game until they become unconscious and you don’t have to think about them.

The reason routines are so great as a crutch (not as your entire game plan after more than a year…) is because they give you the ability to get some success, and from that success your subconscious mind goes “whoa… hey sometimes talking to women does give results” and you feel less nervous and come across better, which gives more success and so on.

So with routines they may only get you into a fun conversation 10% of the time, but those 10% of times will add up and soon you’ll start seeing success which is where your brain goes “ok so if I approach it sometimes leads to happiness” and you start to have more fun just getting out there and doing it.

The fact that your subconscious mind creates 90% of your life is what a lot of people miss in pickup, they spend all their time working on that 10%, learning new lines, tips and techniques to be the master pickup artist, without actually getting out there and practicing.

By just practicing you are constantly bombarding your subconscious mind with new information, rather than just your conscious and you grow far far quicker than if you were to sit around reading pickup material all day.

Also rather than just working on theories and conscious things, try more subconscious boosting activities, things like affirmations to yourself that you are an awesome guy (I’ll post some of my favorites up in the next few days), visualizations of you succeeding and doing well etc.

These things all impact your subconscious in a huge way and because your subconscious can’t tell the difference between reality and something you imagined, you’ll soon start seeing your game take off in a big way.

Related Posts

http://www.inspiredmoneymaker.com/2008/09/13/how-smart-is-your-subconcious/To recieve more amazing content like this every day Subscribe to our Newsletter for free Instantly. Every day you’ll recieve heaps of amazing content you won’t find anywhere else. Click here to Subscribe Now.

Technorati Tags: cold shoulder, conscious, conscious mind, rejection, rules of the game, subconcious, subconscious, subconscious mind, unconcious, Unconscious, unconscious mind

If you enjoyed this post, make sure you subscribe to my RSS feed!

If you’re lazy and don’t feel like reading the whole of 100 words below (seriously I’d do the same, you don’t want to listen to my dribble), you can grab the book at: http://www.sinnsofattraction.com/ (It’s free BTW)

Wow! Seriously I’ve read a LOT of ebooks in the past few years and tell you what: 95% of them are either

a. Junk

b. Rehashes of generic information

c. Make no sense AT ALL

But guess what? I’ve found it, the holy grail of ebooks! (lol no seriously, I’m not even being dramatic here)

Sinn Just released his Game Acceleration Doctarine and it is PHENOMENAL! (and free!)

This is the guy that teaches THE GURU’S and takes their game to the next level, and he most certainly knows his stuff, in fact I love his blog so much I even linked to it in http://www.letsinspire.net/blog/2008/best-of-the-best-pickup-resources/

Anyway enough blabbering you can download the book at: http://www.sinnsofattraction.com/

Once you’ve read it, come back here and post your thoughts. I’d love to know if it answered any questions you’ve been having or if there are area’s you’d like more help with.

Enjoy it!

– SolaceTo recieve more amazing content like this every day Subscribe to our Newsletter for free Instantly. Every day you’ll recieve heaps of amazing content you won’t find anywhere else. Click here to Subscribe Now.

Technorati Tags: Game Acceleration Doctrine, sinn

If you enjoyed this post, make sure you subscribe to my RSS feed!

Do you often hesitate when going to kiss a girl, simply because your afraid of losing her? Do you ever keep your distance from women because you don’t know if you should? Do you hold yourself back from funny remarks because you’re not sure if she’ll like it? You’re making one of the worst mistakes you can possibly make.

I’ve been there before and seen so many other guys go through the same horrible phase, where they start off by discovering pickup, then go out and try a few cool lines and get a few giggles… however that’s generally where it ends, and the problem isn’t not knowing what to do next, because I’m pretty sure you and most other guys know roughly what to do. The problem is so many guys hold themselves back because they are just too damn afraid of losing the girl.

From an initial perspective it looks like the right thing to do right? Play it safe so you don’t lose the girl? The truth is you are a lot more likely to lose a girl due to being too timid than being too aggressive. Why? Because women want a real man who can lead the interaction and sweep her off her feet, if you’re sitting around talking about nothing for 2 hours straight without even so much as a kiss, she’s going to start looking for someone with more balls who can give her the fun she truly desires.

If you aren’t constantly escalating physically (going from light touching, to holding hands/arm around waist, to kissing, to heavy make out, to taking her home and having sex) she’s going to think either you’re not interested, or you haven’t got enough balls to do anything further, both of which have a bad outcome for you.

The other even more significant problem is, if you don’t push yourself to be better and try new things every time you go out your learning is going to be very very slow. The only times you learn new things is when you *surprise surprise* do something new!

But what if she’s your perfect girl? Wouldn’t you want to take it slow so you don’t lose her?

NO! We’ll ok there’s slow, and then there’s slowwww, most guys do the latter… It’s ok to take a few hours and have a date or two between kissing and sex, but if you’re waiting around for an hour before even TOUCHING her or have been on a few dates without even so much as a kiss, she’s going to be walking (especially if she’s a hot woman with options).

When starting out your goal should not be to find your perfect girl, because chances are, if you aren’t good enough you ain’t going to be able to keep her (of course this depends, if she is your perfect girl intellectually it may be a different case, but 99% of guys I know who say they met their “perfect girl” in their first few months of clubbing usually just like her because she’s hot, or because its the first girl they’ve had who likes them back in a long time). When you start out your goal should be to learn and improve yourself to a point where you are attractive to most women, it doesn’t mean don’t date anyone, do that if you wish, but go out each night with the intention of pushing every conversation and interaction with women you have to the limits.

By Pushing the interaction I mean throwing your ego aside and doing things you’d normally never do. Things such as:

• Being more overtly sexual
• Approaching in different ways (being very direct and telling her she’s hot vs being subtle and asking an opinion vs just being friendly)
• Being louder and more energetic
• Saying things you’ve never said before that may push the limits of normal social conversation

If you go out every night and don’t do anything new, if you just be your normal self and don’t push the interaction you’re going to learn incredilby slowly. When you finally do come across a girl you really like, you won’t know what to do, where the conversation boundaries are, how to calibrate to her giving different tests and so on, in turn, losing the girl.

Remember that the goal here (speaking for 95% of guys) is not to try and have a perfect date or interaction with every single girl we meet while out sarging. The goal is to have the right attitude, vibe and skills so that when you do meet an amazing girl, you can keep her.

By holding yourself back you’re only delaying the learning process. How can you possibly know what her limits are and what she likes and doesn’t like if you never experiment, try new things out and push your comfort zone?

Would you much rather get along with every woman you meet (90% of which won’t even remember you in clubs/bars), but struggle to attract the girls you really want? or get rejected by a few women to learn and improve yourself so in time you can be with any girl you desire?

When I think about it nearly every single learning or growth experience I’ve had in my life has been when I’ve pushed myself to the limit and gone way out of my normal comfort zone. I’ve also noticed some of the most fun nights out have been when I’m completely in the zone of not caring and just doing what I want, without giving a damn what the woman I’m with thinks.

There are so many times I’ve done crazy wacko things which I was sure wouldn’t work and amazingly, they did! (Like being overtly sexual, pulling a girls hair, dirty dancing on the dance floor) it’s amazing how many things I’ve always thought “will never work” from social conditioning, yet work so well, and I never would have found out unless I went outside and just tried it.

I’ve been blown out, called horrible words, been slapped, the lot, and you know what? It’s all worth it. Just finding the sweet spot and being sexually calibrated, knowing when and where to say certain things, when you should put your arm around her, when you should go for the kiss, when you should be inviting her back to your place etc puts you above 99% of guys out there… seriously, most guys never learn this simply because they are too scared to get rejected.

What would you rather? Going through life like an average guy getting average results, or spending 2-3 months of getting blown out and rejected by girls only to be a better man than 99% of guys for the rest of your life?To recieve more amazing content like this every day Subscribe to our Newsletter for free Instantly. Every day you’ll recieve heaps of amazing content you won’t find anywhere else. Click here to Subscribe Now.

Technorati Tags: increasing sexuality, keeping the girl, learning experience, learning pickup, not losing the girl, pickup guide, push the limits, sexual escalation

If you enjoyed this post, make sure you subscribe to my RSS feed!

Over the past few months I’ve taken a break from Lets Inspire focusing on other business activities. I’ve also thrown myself into Seduction / Pick Up more intense than ever before and realized: I don’t want to write
the normal newbie dating info anymore.

Lets Inspire to me means inspired growth, constant improvement and continual evolution of ourselves in dating, personal development and life. Not about quick rewrites of generic worthless content to appeal to the lowest common demoninator.

I no longer want to write purely from a business perspective, as writing rehashed junk info to make a quick buck just doesn’t have any appeal to me. If that scares some newbies away who just want the basics of pickup, so be it, there are thousands of others sources to get basic dating info from. From now on I’m going to pursue the cutting edge of pickup, the latest theories, techniques and info to help take your game further than ever before and make you the most fun, attractive guy possible, the kind of guy every woman dreams of being with.

I aim to always be learning and as I learn new things give this information to you to learn from, apply and help refine, we’ll work together to make ourselves the best we can be. I’m not going to be holding anything back and giving out everything I learn and come across as it happens.

I See soo much potential for growth in the pickup community! There is still so much to learn and explore. The problem is 95% of teachers are just repeating what others have said to make a few quick sales, and as such we’re evolving at a much slower pace than we could be.

Lets Inspire is about taking charge and pathing the way to the discovery and creationg of new strategies, theories and techniques no one has yet thought of or worked with. Lets Inspire won’t be about repeating what others have said before but forging new ground, creating and experimenting with up to the second new technologies.

It will also be a place where the best of the best come to hang out and throw ideas out there to work with and build upon. I see a bright future ahead for the pickup community, there may be many haters, many guys and girls who think you should just be how you’ve always been and never grow to be a better person, but I’m 100% committed to being the best man I can be and constantly pushing myself to new heights. If you want to stagnate and live a *normal* life you’ll have to seek help elsewhere.

The one thing to remember is there is always room for improvement, you should always be evolving and changing. Just like some of the best guys out there (I’ll be posting a link to all the best Pickup resources in hte coming days) every few months I’ll be pulling my game apart and rebuilding it from scratch to take it to the next level.

It’s very crushing to the ego to be doing this, throwing away everything you’ve worked for and rebuilding from scratch. But in the constant pursuit of growth it is neccessary and by leaving your ego at the door you’re going to get a lot more out of Lets Inspire than anyone else.

I present this information to you as a student of pickup, not as your teacher or guru, for I find when one labels themself as a guru it becomes a case of “I’ve finished growing so I’m going to stop learning and just teach everything I know over and over”. With the majority of gurus or teachers I see they never evolve their game, they get so wrapped up forming an identity around their teachings that they never move on even when there are better, more practical, more hard hitting powerful techniques being created all around them.

Lets Inspire is about inspiring guys to be the best they can be and giving them the tools and information they need to always be improving their game. It’s about Deep, Truthful, Powerful growth as a PUA, a Friend and a fellow Human Being.

Most of all, I believe Pickup should always be coming from a point of love and giving, wanting to be the man every girl desires, never trying to be manipulative or selfish in your desires. Thus everything I write will be coming from a place of love and being win win for both you and every girl that comes into your life.

I hope you’ll join me in reaching for the stars and working towards being the guy every woman desires.To recieve more amazing content like this every day Subscribe to our Newsletter for free Instantly. Every day you’ll recieve heaps of amazing content you won’t find anywhere else. Click here to Subscribe Now.

Technorati Tags: continual evolution, evolution, evolving, growth, lets inspire, letsinspire, Personal Development, pickup, powerful pickup techniques

If you enjoyed this post, make sure you subscribe to my RSS feed!

There are 7 core traits that every women love in men, and unfortunately 99% of guys don’t know about ANY of them, if you do, we’ll done, you’re a superstar amongst mere mortals.

Applying just one or two of these golden rules will have you with the ability to attract any women you desire, yes even that one you’ve had your eye on for quite some time, they key here is actually doing them, not simply reading then going back to World of Warcraft.

So what do they want?

To Be Approached
Most guys have this weird mental talk inside their heads that tells them “oh she just wants to be left alone, she wouldn’t want to talk to me” Rubbish! All Women desperately want a cool fun guy to just come up to them and sweep them off their feet, and the more guys they talk to, the more chance they have of meeting this perfect guy? Make sense? Good, onto the next rule.

A Strong Man
No I’m not talking about having huge guns. I’m talking about the kind of guy that knows what he wants, can be independent and survive without his girl and can make her feel safe and free from harm. Girls want a man that will make decisions when they are needed and will take care of her when out clubbing together. Coming right along with this is one of the other best traits to have:

Be a Leader
Women love leaders! Whether they be those high up in power, or rock stars leading an entire culture of music. You don’t literally have to be a leader of a group to be thought of as a leader, all you merely have to do is act like one. Take charge of your life, don’t let others push you around and make your own decisions on what you want to do.

A Sexual Beast
Comes without saying that women really do want a *Man* in the bedroom, not some sissy little boy. Placing yourself as the best source of sexual pleasure in a women’s mind is very very powerful. It’s hard to teach sex skills though a book so I’m going to say go ahead and learn the other 9 traits, then once you start getting laid like a rock star (no really you will be), come back and read this tip:

Incredible sex tip literally no guys know about:

Be More Dominant!

Seriously! Try it tonight if you have a girlfriend, or the next time you are with a women, act like the guys in porn movies (well sometimes they do go a bit extreme, don’t actually physically hurt her) and really rock the house, I’m 100% sure you will be very surprised to learn that 99% of women won’t freak out when you throw them against the wall and start making out, she will love it!

A Man with Ambition
Who really wants to date a guy who sits around on the couch watching TV, eating Twinkies all day? Or a World of Warcraft Addict? If you don’t have anything you are currently striving for then start here, you will never get any girl if you have no goals or ambitions in life, oh and aim big; guys that are striving to become a CEO are just as awesome as actual CEO’s.

A Man with A LIFE
If you rarely venture outside the house, get outside now! Do something, explore the world, and have things going on outside of your dating life. You don’t have to be a world professional snowboarder to be appealing, simply have a few hobbies you love, work you enjoy doing and go partying once in a while. A Girl never wants to be the sole center of attention to a man, they want guys who can give them a fun and exciting time, not the other way around. This ties in well with the next incredibly appealing trait:

Someone Fun!
Get out there, have some fun, go clubbing and make new friends, don’t go play soccer if you have no interest at all, but do find things that do interest you that you can meet new people at, even if it’s a gardening club, be interesting and do interesting things and you will forever have a plentiful supply of women who want to join your fun and eventful life.

There are 3 more very advanced ways to get girls lusting over you within just minutes of meeting you, as well as far more in depth knowledge on the above 7 traits in the free ebook, if you feel you’re ready for very advanced training (and please don’t download it if you’re not, you might get a bit freaked out), then go ahead and enter your name and email on the right and start reading and becoming *The Man*

Cheers,

– Solace
To recieve more amazing content like this every day Subscribe to our Newsletter for free Instantly. Every day you’ll recieve heaps of amazing content you won’t find anywhere else. Click here to Subscribe Now.

If you enjoyed this post, make sure you subscribe to my RSS feed!

Since starting LetsInspire I’ve noticed that there is a serious abundance of guys out there who have ‘this one girl’, the one amazing girl who eclipses all others in every sector of life and they *must* have. Because this is such a huge problem I’ve decided to dedicate create a full series to help all guys stuck in a similar rut.

If this is you, and you would really like a certain someone special to be in your life then listen up closely, I’ve got some good news and some bad news for you:

The good news is that you can have any girl you want.

The bad news is that you must realize this and live this reality of being able to date and attract any girl, which means not chasing just one girl. Confused? Don’t worry, all will be revealed.

Today I’m going to teach what is known as an abundance mindset, it’s a way of going about life where you simply know there are millions of women out there and there are always more fish in the sea. It is that amazing plateu up in the sky where you realize, unlike the majority of guys, that you don’t need just one girl, you also feel that sense of peace knowing that if the girl you desire doesn’t like you back, your life isn’t over, in fact when you have this mindset you’ll probably bounce back happier than ever.

The Abundance Mindset

The Abundance mindset is in my opinion, the most crucial skill you can ever have in attracting women into your life, whether you simply want to attract one girl, or date hundreds. Having a mindset of complete abundance just has a huge effect on your life in every area, especially with women. No longer do you have to feel there is only one girl for you, or your life is over. No longer will you live in fear of rejection or screwing up.

An Abundance mentality is where you know there are over 2 million women just in your city alone! And over 3 billion worldwide, and with that you realize that you have limitless potential, you are never ever going to run out of women to talk to, or have relationships with, and more than likely there is always going to be a better girl out there for you. When you start to realize this you become less attached to that *one girl* and you start to realize the potential in women all around you.

It is at this point that women notice you becoming more of a lone warrior, a man who doesn’t need women for validation, and they start becoming more attracted to you. You will probably also notice the girl you’re interested in becoming far more interested in you than before when you were clingy, needy, and attempting to please her in every way.

Believe it or not I actually used to have a belief about women that many men seem to have, and it went something like this “I don’t want to talk to or flirt with other women because the one girl I’m interested in will then become upset and not want to talk to me, and I will never have a chance with her”.

I can tell you right now that this belief is completely and utterly false. Never in my life have I had that happen to me or anyone else I know. In fact nearly every single time I’ve seen a guy flirt and date more than one girl at once, each girl thinks “We’ll this guy is fun and interesting, and I think he may be seeing other girls, I don’t want that, I want him to be ALL MINE!”, and they start working harder than ever in an attempt to show off how good they are, seeking his validation and attempting to appease him, rather than the other way around.

So how do you actually go about building this abundance mentality? We’ll the easiest way by far is… to have an abundance of women in your life. Now the great thing about this is that it doesn’t have to be girls you’re dating, in fact, you don’t even have to know them; you simply need to talk to a lot of women. Talk to them on the train/bus, waiting for the train/bus, at work, at school, out at pubs/club, at the shops.

You know who the best women to talk to are? The friends of the girl you like. Not only do you get to meet more women (who knows they may even be more amazing than the girl you like), but the girl you have feelings for will see that you’re not completely social awkward and will even start becoming jealous of her friends getting along with you, then will want to know you better too.
The reason why you need to talk to them is that when you are actually talking to them they sort of become *real*. While before when you are simply observing women they seem like objects outside of your reality, like they are on TV or in the movies, and when they are outside of your reality they aren’t contributing to your abundance mindset.

Once you start talking to women of all walks of life every single day you start to notice just how many of them there are around you, and you also begin to see that perhaps there are even more amazing girls than your *one special girl* out there for you. If there aren’t (and please don’t say “Oh there aren’t any girls as amazing as this one” if you hardly ever talk to other women) then of course you can always have your one special girl, and she will love you more than ever for not treating her like you’re her slave or her love puppy that hangs around constantly being clingy and annoying.

It really is hard to imagine having this mindset when you don’t have it already, and you may feel some resistance to thinking this way, as you still have this feeling that your one special girl is better than every other girl out there. Let me tell you as someone who’s been in the same position of having this one girl that I loved and adored who never loved me back for over 2 years; it’s amazing how much different life is after adopting this abundance mentality. Since I lost touch with that one special girl I’ve since met and dated many many equally or even more special girls who all are amazing in different ways, and I’d have to say I feel far, far happier now than I ever was when I was chasing that one girl.

So get out there, talk to other girls and start to realize that you can have any girl you desire, it is completely counter-intuitive but it is by far the best and easiest way to gather interest from that girl that desires you.

I’ll talk to you again with “Part 2: Getting over Nervousness and Knowing exactly what to say” in a few days.

Cheers, Solace

To recieve more amazing content like this every day Subscribe to our Newsletter for free Instantly. Every day you’ll recieve heaps of amazing content you won’t find anywhere else. Click here to Subscribe Now.

Technorati Tags: Abundance Mentality, abundance mindset, oneitis

If you enjoyed this post, make sure you subscribe to my RSS feed!

Your ego is both inspiring and full of deceit, on the surface it appears to be helping you, it gives you small boosts of gratification when you succeed and that helps keep you going, however on the flip side it is also one of the biggest hindrances you will face in life. You see your ego just wants you to be safe, to have fun and to be the best, however what it doesn’t realize is that failure can be a good thing. In fact, your ego hates failure, it loathes nothing more, and this is where most people go wrong in their career, health and relationships.

Your ego hates failure so much that it puts up protective barriers against it, it makes you feel bad when you aren’t the best looking, smartest, most charming guy around. It is the reason why fat people hate going to the gym, often the fear of other people judging them and their ego being damaged because of that holds them back from going. It is also the reason many weightlifters lift heavier weights than they should, they get an ego boost from these bigger weights and feel good because of it, even if they are damaging their body when they can’t lift them with the right form.

Consequently this also applies to attracting women, your ego doesn’t like you failing, being rejected or making a fool of yourself, so you play it safe, you do safe things that nobody around will see or notice, and you try to blend in with all the other chodes picking up women. You Never rise above the rest because your ego tells you public humiliation is bad.

To separate yourself from your ego is a liberating experience, you can freely do what you like without worrying about prejudice, about others judging what you do, about girls or guys thinking bad about you for screwing up. In fact, if you dump your ego entirely you will see massive gains in every area of life, for you will no longer be trying to pick up women to prove to your friends how much of a cool dude you are, but rather talking to women to give them a fun night out and amuse yourself, not impress others.

So how do you go about removing this ego? We’ll for a start over the next week keep listening to your thoughts, if you catch yourself thinking about whether someone else likes you or not stop! Just cut that thought out and attempt to never think it again. If you catch yourself comparing yourself to others then stop! don’t ever think like that, and if you ever think of doing something then think “no maybe x will think I’m stupid”, ignore that thought and do it anyway.

Separating yourself from your ego means separating yourself from comparisons with others, don’t compare how many girls you’ve had/muscle size/your salary to other guys, don’t care about what others think of you, and especially don’t stop doing what you want to do because someone else may not like it.

It’s hard because we’ve been brought up a society that values comparisons, we have charts and graphs showing school performances, we have IQ tests, we have salaries for various jobs and comparisons between multiple positions. In fact most of many people’s existences is based around comparing themselves to others and only feeling good when they are better than other people. If you ever feel good because you’re better at something than someone else, stop it! Everyone always has someone better and worse than them, and comparing yourself to others will only deter you from your real goals.

Set goals for yourself, and don’t build them upon what others have done Every person is unique and has their own take on life. Do what you want to do, if getting to 60KG from 50KG is your goal, awesome, that’s a great goal, if your goal is to be bigger than the kid down the road its not so great. Others can still serve as inspiration of course (I know I want to be as big as Arnie someday), but don’t feel let down if you’re not there yet, just keep going, working on that goal and continue getting there. Negative emotions from not bulking up or loosing fat fast enough will only deter you from what you really want and when you hit a plateau your ego will probably put you off all-together.

Your ego can keep you going when the going is easy, but that’s all it will do. For when you hit a stale point your ego will feel the drain from lack of success and cause you to give up hope, even if you are only 10% away from your goal. When the going gets tough you need to learn to put your ego aside and be able to tap into your intelligence, which will help you get over those speed-bumps in life and be the man you really want to be.

Your ego is based on emotions, not logic, hence why it is so hard to control. But you will realize over time that it becomes easier and easier the more you ignore it when it’s holding you back and start using your logic and intelligence instead. The question is, do you want instant ego satisfying gratification, or to endure a slight bit of ego pain for huge lifelong improvements?
To recieve more amazing content like this every day Subscribe to our Newsletter for free Instantly. Every day you’ll recieve heaps of amazing content you won’t find anywhere else. Click here to Subscribe Now.

If you enjoyed this post, make sure you subscribe to my RSS feed!

Do you care about what other people think of you? Are you concerned that some people don’t like you? Do you hang on to what other people say, hoping that they might say something good about you and dreading if they say something bad about you? Thinking in this mindset is holding you back in more ways than you can imagine.

This self concious thinking is a fairly common problem with just about everyone. In a social society, other people’s thoughts are important. Thinking about what other people think of you has many benefits: you won’t tread on anyone’s toes or get on their bad sides, you can tell whether they like you or don’t like you and calibrate accordingly, and you can tell when you are welcome or not welcome in a group. However, this can be something that really harms your game if other people’s opinions of you becomes a major factor in how you behave.

Our ability to imagine what other people’s mind states or thoughts are is a natural ability which psychologists have termed, ‘Theory of Mind’. ToM is a basic ability in us to anticipate what other people’s thoughts are, as other people obviously think differently to us. Without knowing or having an idea of what other people are thinking about, social interactions can turn awkward – for example, if you weren’t part of a social group who’s norms frowned upon discussion of deodorant, and you discussed deodorant, then this may cause tension in the group.

ToM develops very early in life. The ability starts appearing around the age of 3. A simple task to test the ToM is to show a toddler a series of events or a scenario: In the scenario, person A has a box of lollies. He replaces the lollies with pencils (the toddler sees all of this). Then person A leaves the box in the room and person B enters. The toddler is asked what person B thinks is inside the box. Without ToM, the toddler would assume that person B thought exactly the same thing as them: that the box contained pencils, even though person B would not have known that person A replaced the lollies with pencils. After the development of ToM, the toddler is able to ‘figure out’ that person B doesn’t know about the shifty switch and thus answers the question correctly.

The condition in which ToM is impaired in a person is called Autism, or the ‘high functioning’ version of it, Asperger’s syndrome. ToM never develops in these people (though they may learn logical routes/heuristics to figure out basic rules). Social interaction is incredibly difficult for these people and you should be glad that you were born with a working ToM.

Many people let their capacity to estimate what other people think of them overpower their thoughts. They are constantly wondering if the other people like them, whether what they say is going to have an effect on what the person thinks of them, or whether they should take a risk and make a move, or just hope that everything goes well. In fact, they’re thinking about what others think of them so much that their mental capacities for language are used up and they have nothing to say.

They start really analysing the situation, using their incredible capacity of ToM to bring up a million different ways in which people might react negatively to their approach or their words. The focus of their thoughts is in finding ways in which they might be rejected and as a result, they are less inclined to approach or push the line.

This is also related to the amount of emotional investment in which they put into what other people think of them. Obviously, the more emotional investment there is into what other people think of you, the more it matters. This is the first thing that needs to be changed. Why put so much emotional investment in what other people think? Especially if it’s just someone you just met.

Emotional investment into the outcome of the interaction is also something that will determine whether you watch your words or not. When you’re invested into whether you get the girl’s number/kiss her/take her home, you’re guarding your words so that nothing wrong comes out. In the process of this, you’re restricting yourself: being free and putting your personality on the line is incredibly attractive to a girl and you’re stopping yourself from really expressing yourself.

When you remove emotional investment from the interaction, you can start to use your ToM effectively. You can calibrate to the situation and determine what the best possible routes and tactics to take are. Your intuitive abilities to tell you when to take the interaction to the next level will be honed into great weapons of escalation. Taking the emotional investment from the interaction also has another benefit of shifting the focus of the interaction into a ‘building your skills’ mindset. Instead of focusing on rejection (I’m doing my best so that this girl will like me), you’re focused on your skills (I’ll test this out, if it doesn’t work then I’ll fix it).

Use your ToM so that it is beneficial to your game. Remove your emotional investments from the interaction: you’re working on your skill set and you’re going to make mistakes. Your ability to use ToM is a tool that can help you succeed, and it shouldn’t be a handicap that takes over your mind

<3
shiftTo recieve more amazing content like this every day Subscribe to our Newsletter for free Instantly. Every day you’ll recieve heaps of amazing content you won’t find anywhere else. Click here to Subscribe Now.

If you enjoyed this post, make sure you subscribe to my RSS feed!

One of the most important part of dealing with women and becoming the best person you can be is developing your “inner game”. Inner game is encompasses a wide variety of things: your mindsets, how you react to think, thought processes, to name a few. You will probably read a lot of things written by other experienced pimp soldiers trying to explain to you what their current mindsets are and what goes through their heads but unless you have experience with the topic, you probably will have a difficult time trying to understand what the writer is going on about.

So you read all this material. Be unreactive. Girls are plentiful. Be your core, your self and don’t give a damn what anyone else thinks of you. You feel good because you think after you’ve read that material that you’ve developed good inner game and nothing can shake your solid base. Then one girl doesn’t open well. Another girl gives you a death stare as you approach. If you’re strong enough, you continue on to your third or fourth approach. All with the same results. You start crumbling inside. What happened? You cry to yourself, “I thought my inner game was strong enough for this!”.

Inner game isn’t something that you can magic up out of thin air, or from hours of reading. It isn’t a logical entity that you can just read about and develop. The concepts of inner game were developed from people who had experience with women and life in general. They had approached and dealt with so many women that an abundance mentality is cemented in their minds. So many people had rejected their approaches already that they just don’t care what other people think of them. These concepts were borne through people with vast amounts of experience and passed down to people without the experience, so that they could benefit from other’s work.

However, to know what these concepts really mean, you need an emotional understanding of the concepts, and this is gained from hours and hours of field experience. When you first start approaching women (after spending hours studying material), you logically understand that approaching women is really nothing and that you’re not going to die, but your emotional circuitry kicks and screams at you to not approach because you might get hurt. You’re strong and you approach anyway, and after a few approaches your emotional brain ‘catches up’ to your logic and starts realising that approaching won’t hurt you. After a while, you fully understand the inner game concept that approaching is easy. This goes with every other concept. This is the way you start to really understand things.

If you want to build your muscles, you have to exercise and push them to their limits. Socialising, inner strength and all of the concepts discussed regarding women, they’re all written there for you to get started. But to get really good and to really understand the material, you need to get out and experience it. Take a risk and approach that woman. Lead her around confidently and take your rejections in stride. Every rejection gets you closer to your goal. Every rejection makes you stronger and more calibrated. With every rejection, you learn what not to do and your social skills improve.

See you on the field,

-shiftTo recieve more amazing content like this every day Subscribe to our Newsletter for free Instantly. Every day you’ll recieve heaps of amazing content you won’t find anywhere else. Click here to Subscribe Now.

If you enjoyed this post, make sure you subscribe to my RSS feed!

Many years ago, there was an ancient Buddhist Monk who had a great way of looking at life, he would talk to someone and ask one very simple question which nobody could ever answer correctly, “who are you”. You see when told a question like this most say something like “I am solace”, “I am a writer”, “I am a Buddhist” etc. and every time someone would answer with one of these answers he would ask them again “no, who are YOU”. It generally takes some time but more often than not, the person will come to realize the true meaning of those words and reach a higher level of consciousness.

You see, you are not your job, your identity or your religion, you are your untainted spirited self. Everything that you think you are is what has been imposed on you by society, by the world and by everyone around you, you have been influenced to such a degree that you believe you are what others tell you. Of course this seems to be your own decision but little do you realize this decision was created from those surrounding you.

To finally come to the realization that you are not your habits, beliefs or virtues, frees you from the great amount of emotional turmoil many people carry around with them for their entire lives. People are so attached to the pain and joy that these attachments bring them that they begin to count them as part of themselves, and they start to become the things they associate with most often. Just like how when you hang around the same people for any amount of time, your friends, your coworkers, your boss, you tend to become just like them, so too do you become like whatever you identify yourself with or as. If you constantly tell people you are a writer that habit becomes more ingrained and you find it hard to disassociate with it (if you ever want to change careers) and thus you become stuck in more of a rut (which can sometimes be good but most of the time not changing is a bad thing).

When you realize that you are not what you surround yourself with and identify with you can start to become more Free, both emotionally and physically. You may come to realize that beliefs you previously held onto because you thought they were a part of you can be released. Old habits that don’t serve you can be lost and you can stop trying to be better than everyone else by having a higher up status or job and completely release yourself from your ego. Some things that people often drop when they realize they are not themselves include habits that don’t serve them that have simply been picked up from their parents such as arguing to defend your version of reality. Often the most open minded and happy to discuss different ideas people are those that realize they are not their attachments and often when you listen to other with a very open mind you’ll begin to learn and pick up ideas and interesting thoughts you’ve never come across before.

Furthermore building on what has been said by Steve Pavlina you are not your physical body, imagine life is a video game, you move around the world, you do things that raise and lower your state, you experience problems and you find solutions. When you navigate around a video game you of course realize that you are your character in the video game. How about taking on the perspective that you are not your real life character, your name is not what it is and you are simply a free form spirit controlling this physical body. Now you don’t have to be religious or particularly spiritual to experience this shift, just as you don’t have to be religious or spiritual to play a video game, just open your mind to it. Funnily enough many people often give themselves less freedom than a video game and instead choose (albeit unconsciously and influenced by the mass of society) to treat their lives like they are characters in a movie, they don’t get a choice to make, they just follow the movie script of life (go to school, go to uni, get a job, retire, die), and pay little thought to the alternate options they have out there, instead choosing to live a life on rails from start to finish.

So how does this help us? For one thing, when you realize that you are not your physical self, you can feel a sense of relief as you learn that everything that happens to you is merely effecting your physical body. If you are in a state of anger, realize that this is merely a state of fear that is causing you to be angry and you can step back, take a look at your physical self, look at those emotions but from a third perspective and realize what must be done to make them disappear (or more of them if it is a positive emotion you are invoking).

Not only this, but realizing we are not our attachments allows us to be far more open minded in life, you are free to sample and try different religions instead of subscribing to the one that was imposed upon you at birth. You can change careers without worry about being attached to your previous self and previous lifestyle, who said you have to be a wage-slave and you can’t be a rock-star? Society at large did, the same society that are also wage slaves and don’t want anyone else to get ahead. So get out there, be a rock-star do what you want to do and never say can’t, because all in all, you are exactly the same as everyone else and you can learn to be/play guitar/write just as well as anyone else possibly can, you just have to get out there and do it.

If you can’t quite see how living outside your physical body will help you out in life, I urge you to just try doing it for just 30 days. Feel what it is like to live without the attachments of life that hold you back, and see how much different your life is when you can sit back and relax when an emotional storm hits your body. Observe your emotions from the outside and see how they effect you, why they are there, and how they came about, then step back and look at how you can create less (or more) of these emotions in your life.

Have Fun,

– Solace
To recieve more amazing content like this every day Subscribe to our Newsletter for free Instantly. Every day you’ll recieve heaps of amazing content you won’t find anywhere else. Click here to Subscribe Now.

If you enjoyed this post, make sure you subscribe to my RSS feed!