Lets Inspire

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One of the most important part of dealing with women and becoming the best person you can be is developing your “inner game”. Inner game is encompasses a wide variety of things: your mindsets, how you react to think, thought processes, to name a few. You will probably read a lot of things written by other experienced pimp soldiers trying to explain to you what their current mindsets are and what goes through their heads but unless you have experience with the topic, you probably will have a difficult time trying to understand what the writer is going on about.

So you read all this material. Be unreactive. Girls are plentiful. Be your core, your self and don’t give a damn what anyone else thinks of you. You feel good because you think after you’ve read that material that you’ve developed good inner game and nothing can shake your solid base. Then one girl doesn’t open well. Another girl gives you a death stare as you approach. If you’re strong enough, you continue on to your third or fourth approach. All with the same results. You start crumbling inside. What happened? You cry to yourself, “I thought my inner game was strong enough for this!”.

Inner game isn’t something that you can magic up out of thin air, or from hours of reading. It isn’t a logical entity that you can just read about and develop. The concepts of inner game were developed from people who had experience with women and life in general. They had approached and dealt with so many women that an abundance mentality is cemented in their minds. So many people had rejected their approaches already that they just don’t care what other people think of them. These concepts were borne through people with vast amounts of experience and passed down to people without the experience, so that they could benefit from other’s work.

However, to know what these concepts really mean, you need an emotional understanding of the concepts, and this is gained from hours and hours of field experience. When you first start approaching women (after spending hours studying material), you logically understand that approaching women is really nothing and that you’re not going to die, but your emotional circuitry kicks and screams at you to not approach because you might get hurt. You’re strong and you approach anyway, and after a few approaches your emotional brain ‘catches up’ to your logic and starts realising that approaching won’t hurt you. After a while, you fully understand the inner game concept that approaching is easy. This goes with every other concept. This is the way you start to really understand things.

If you want to build your muscles, you have to exercise and push them to their limits. Socialising, inner strength and all of the concepts discussed regarding women, they’re all written there for you to get started. But to get really good and to really understand the material, you need to get out and experience it. Take a risk and approach that woman. Lead her around confidently and take your rejections in stride. Every rejection gets you closer to your goal. Every rejection makes you stronger and more calibrated. With every rejection, you learn what not to do and your social skills improve.

See you on the field,

-shift

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We all have perfect game. I know you are awesome and have so many amazing things that women would love about you. From the Little quirks you have to the grand ideas about the future of the world, the government and everyone, you are destined for great things if only you could express yourself. The only problem is, nobody can see this, because of a multitude of social barriers we all employ within ourselves that stop our true selves from coming out.

Social barriers are simply layers that we have built around ourselves to protect us from the outside world, they are barriers we put up when meeting new people which protect us from being emotionally hurt when talking to others. Introverted people aren’t actually introverts at all, but rather extroverts who have many social barriers inside their head that stop them from saying certain things. If you look into people’s thoughts, you’ll often find both introverts and extroverts think about the same amount of stuff, however introverts simply have more filters in their head that tell them “don’t say that, it’s stupid” or “you’ll get rejected if you tell her you like her” etc. Extroverts on the other hand don’t have these barriers, so they may say more stupid things from time to time, but on the whole they are generally more the life of the party because they talk so much that these stupid things just fade away in the conversation. No one really notices the bad things they say as they are strung among many good conversational topics or people simply forget about them.

Deep inside you know that you are a special person, you are different from everyone else and you have your story to tell, the problem is, with all these social barriers that are holding you back you just can’t explain to the world and especially women how amazing you really are. Only when you get drunk do you rack up the confidence to talk to them and by that time you can’t really control what comes out of your mouth, often offending and seeming like a loser to these people. This is definitely a problem that can be fixed, I’ve been there, and its taken me well over 3/4 years of solid talking practice to get to my current social self. I don’t just mean living a normal go to work, get home, sleep kind of life, but I’ve been going out to parties, social events and practicing my speaking and its still taken me that long to come out of my shell, so If I can do it, you can too.

One of the main reasons these barriers are in place is because of events that happened previously in our lives that stop us from doing things in the future. Maybe your parents scowled you every time you talked about something they thought was boring, or your friends thought you were a loser when you discussed camping in the wilderness. So now you feel pressured to shut up in fear of people disliking you. The reason why alcohol takes away these social barriers is because when you are drunk you aren’t thinking of the past, normally you may think something like “we’ll I’ve always been rejected when talking to women in the past, so I’m not going to open my mouth” while when you are drunk you don’t think of this and just keep talking. Also when your drunk your not thinking into the future, you don’t think “I’m never going to score a women of this beauty” and you just have a good time.You forget about what others think about you and are just completely in the moment having a fun time. The key now is to be able to do this without drinking.

So one of the first keys to getting over social barriers is to completely switch off your past and future thinking. This is something that often happens when you get into state after approaching about 4-5 groups of girls out clubbing and you start to feel that surge of energy rushing through your body. You sort of semi go into a drunken state but without the slurred words and stupidity coming out of your mouth and it really makes you very attractive to women. Start practicing going up to people and introducing yourself without a single thought, just try to make your mind a fuzz of static and don’t care what you say next, just say hi and slowly over time start getting into a conversation (anything goes, talk about your shoes, alligators or global warming if you wish). Practice going up to people (women aredefinitely the hardest) and just

The other reason they crop is because we are thinking so so much inside our head that we are drained from all the talking and can’t express ourselves verbally. It’s amazing how much goes on in your head when out talking to people “will they like me” “is my hair out of place” etc. Turning off these little voices could possibly be the best thing that happens to you, just turn them off completely and focus on the moment, focus on people around you and the conversations taking place and if your currently in a conversation focus 100% on that. Of course from time to time you can think “I should do x now” but never think self consciously, never think about yourself and/or what the other person thinks of you, because remember, they are thinking the exact same thing of themselves and honestly, nobody ever cares. Everyone is so selfish that they think “what does everyone think of me” When in fact nobody is thinking about anyone else so it just doesn’t matter.

So stop thinking about the past and the future, stop being self conscious and definitely thinking inside of your head. Just let go and be your best self, not the shallow, meek, shy version of yourself you usually present to strangers but the fun, happy, awesome self that you are around your best friends and family. Strangers feel exactly the same shyness and fear when meeting you so be the better man and show them how confident and amazing you really are. Pretend that every person you meet is a long lost friend and treat them in exactly the same way as you would if they were a long lost friend you just met again.

Have Fun,

– Solace

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Most people miss the point when they discover routines, thinking they are merely pickup lines in order to get a woman into the bedroom. This could not be further from the truth.

In case you do not know what a routine is, it can be anything from a conversation starter with a women, to fun games to play, or stories to tell to get a girl laughing, having fun and getting you both having a good time. They are generally small canned pieces of text that you say when talking and often make up the bulk of the initial conversation, they can then be discarded once your talking and having a fun time together.

Most guys hear about them and immediately think they are designed to seduce the girl, to get her horny and wanting to be dragged back to your man cave… If they were made to do this then the best guys with women in the world would constantly be using them, but they don’t. Routines serve 2 purposes, very different purposes to be being used as seduction tools.

The first purpose they address is that of helping beginners who don’t know a thing about talking to women, actually drum up a conversation and get some experience with girls. They allow a guy who comes from a background of being a geek/engineer/business guy/whatever who has little to no women at his college/workplace to talk to random girls and not immediately be thought of as a loser. They work great in this instance because he can finally improve on his social skills without immediately being blown out or wasting lots of money buying drinks for girls so he can talk to them (not that you’d ever buy a drink for a female stranger anyway). The only real problem here is he has to realize that these routines are a crutch and not him, they allow him to walk but once he has begun walking he must practice without them or he will never learn proper social confidence, instead retreating to lines he is familiar with to mask his social inadequacies. Once someone is good talking to people using routine (and that person doesn’t even need to be really good, just comfortable talking), they should slowly use less and less routines until they don’t use any at all and their inner self and personality can just shine through.

The second purpose of routines is slightly related to the first. It is simply a way of getting past that awkward first 10 minutes of conversation with a stranger that could potentially be your soul mate, or be nothing like you at all. Even if that person is your soul mate and you have thousands of things in common, those initial 10 minutes of conversation are still often going to be dreaded by both parties and full of awkward silences if you are not a very naturally social person and/or don’t have all that much to say. I’ve heard this time and time again from girls I’ve just met to some of my best friends who aren’t very social, when I ask them why they are so shy around new people they say something like “I’m great and talkative around friends, its just hard to talk to new people and stir up a conversation”. This is a problem that nearly everyone has and is 90% of the time due to you not knowing what to say because you know nothing about the other person. These routines are designed to get both parties to open up to a conversation and get to know each other and are so neutral that it doesn’t matter what you are into, you can probably relate to whats being said. From there you can talk about similar things, events and so on and keep going, going into detail about each others lives.

Finally the best thing about routines is this: Generally after using a routing 10-15 times it becomes ingrained in yourself and you no longer need to remember it word for word, it sort of just spews out of your mouth at the girl. This is a great stage to be at when using routines because once you have made it to this level (which honestly isn’t hard, just do 10-15 sets with your set of routines and you’ll pretty much know them all perfectly) you can begin to use your subconscious mind to spit out the routine, and with your conscious mind you can focus on things such as your body language, your tonality, where your hand are moving, kino etc. This allows you to focus on other parts of your approach instead of having to constantly think about what your going to say next. This puts yourself in the league far ahead of the normal guys as while they are constantly struggling to think of what to say next their body language, tonality and so on is giving off the wrong vibe completely. Over the next 20-30 sets you can then adjust yourself to give off better hand gestures with your routines, have better eye contact and be more alpha in your body language and you’ll see quite clearly the girls responding far more positively to you than when you first started out in the field. Then all these body language aspects of your game will also become unconscious along with your routines and when this happens (which does happen very quickly if you focus on it and keep on going) you’ll see enormous changes in your game and without even consciously being aware of what you’re doing girls will start to like you and enjoy being around you more.

So use routines and have fun with them, they are there to help you out, not to be used as evidence that men are dirty scoundrels attempting to get women into bed as quickly as possible. If you really want to be a better man, use them and improve yourself until your at a level where you can just talk and have fun with women immediately and your game will multiply exponentially, putting yourself above 90% of men within a very short timeframe.

Have Fun,

<3

– Solace

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Since the dawn of time there has been a strange aura over women, that they are these alien creatures who no one truly understands what they want or desire. You’re about to witness one of the biggest transformations of your life, as you finally understand and realize why women do the crazy things they do, what causes them to love bad boys and treat the nice guys like dirt, and finally you will understand “what women want”.

The primary problem with not understanding women stems from using modern day research and logic in order to understand why they chose certain partners or get with certain people. Unfortunately the principles that guide love were created many thousands of years ago, and to fully understand them we must get into the mind of a caveman, living in the wild, hunting food for themselves and doing the best they could without the wonders of modern day technology. These principles were created over the span of thousands of years and fully ingrained into our emotions, hence the first piece of learning you must understand about dating is logic doesn’t even come into play, there is nothing logically that you can do to *win* over a girl. This theory of evolution is further explained in Evolutionary Psychology, and the emotions of a girl are explained in Logic vs Emotion.

The reason women never write about this is because attraction comes from the emotions, and its very hard to explain emotions, which is the reason why even girls often don’t understand what it is they are attracted to, as they can feel the emotion, but then they can’t quite grasp what it is that they like about the guy and backwards rationalize it to often mean something completely different.

This will take time

So now that we’ve got that realization down pact, where do we start in order to make ourselves the most attractive we can be to any girl? The one problem I’ve seen with most guys is that they don’t want to go through the harsh process of unlearning all the bad beliefs they’ve been told throughout life (just be nice to her, be yourself, be a gentlemen, buy her flowers etc.). They simply want to learn the “pick up lines” and think that there is some magic combination that they just perform and any girl will instantly fall in love with them. It NEVER works this way, I’ve been there myself and seen many many others in the same situation, thinking they just need a quick fix and not wanting to put in the effort into learning the core basics of being the best man possible. Realize that being attractive and being what women want will take time and you will go through a lot of failures and rejections, if you don’t want to put in the time and effort you always have your right hand, or whatever scraps are left over when the clubs close at night.

Unlearning your past beliefs

Unlearning your past beliefs can either be a short path, or take a lifetime, it depends on a few key factors. First you must be willing to make the change to your life, the longer you hold onto your old values the longer this is going to take. This process is generally easiest for the youngest men out there (because their beliefs haven’t really been ingrained yet), and for the oldest (because they have finally come to the realization that what they are doing isn’t getting them laid nearly as much as they like), but really if you’re any age you can let go of them quickly and easily.

The first belief that you need to destroy is that you can logically convince a girl to like you. Repeat this one with me here “I CANNOT LOGICALLY CONVINCE A GIRL TO BE ATTRACTED TO ME”, no amount of buying her gifts, sucking up to her, being a doormat to her, being a nice guy and begging/pleading for her to like you will work, IT WILL NOT WORK. The female brain runs on emotions, not logic, and this has been ingrained for over 50,000 years, you’re not going to change it all by yourself.

The second belief is that women care about your looks. Women do not care if you are good looking, but they do care that you look good. Men generally look at women and see the big picture, they see blonde hair, big boobs, tight waist, nice arse and they feel attraction towards her. Women on the other hand, love the smaller details more, if your neatly shaven, have a nice haircut, wear matching clean, ironed clothes with some nice jewelery to complement, you’re going to look many times better than a muscle man who is naturally good looking but is dressed like a bum and has no idea about fashion. This isn’t to say building muscles and improving your physique doesn’t help, it’s just a lot less important than taking care of yourself.

The third belief is that women only like rich men. Women liking money is a logical thing in their minds, hence why they say it a lot, however women are not attracted to large sums of money, they may pretend to be attracted to the guy, but this is a fake form of attraction where they simply want to spend all his money on things that make themselves happy then dump him, or sleep around behind his back with a guy that creates real attraction inside of them. What they are attracted to though, is power and status, something which often comes alongside money, women gravitate towards higher status guys because in the cave ages, they were the guys who would keep them and their children safe (which is a highly desirable thing).

Now that we know exactly what they don’t want, we need to learn what they do want. So what do they want?

Women want Many different traits in a man, of which are listed below, these are in no specific order:

- Leadership/Status - Women want someone high up in society who has a lot of power and can guarantee the highest chance of survival for her offspring, it is also an ego thing for the woman to be with someone of high status, hence why rockstars get laid so often even if they are butt ugly, they have extremely high status in the world and are loved by millions.

- Ambition - Women want to know they man they are with is going somewhere in life, they want someone with goals and a life outside of being with them, someone who strives to improve himself and go far in life. This is great for the majority of us without high status, if you have ambition to attain that high status, she sees that as nearly as good as having it already.

- Security/Protection - This comes back to the cave ages where a women looked for a man for security, they want someone to take care of them and protect them from harm. There are a lot of highly sexual chodes out there, who will do almost anything to a women, from grabbing her ass as she walks past in a club, to trying to get up close and grind with her on the dance floor, girls want protection from these guys. Don’t think that to protect a girl you must have big muscles or know karate, these are not important, what is important is being dominant and keeping her feeling safe with your body language (putting your arms around her shoulder etc).

- Value - All of these traits essentially come into value, value is how valuable you are to the women, generally guys put women on a pedestal and let her know immediately that she is more valuable than they are. If you are lower value than a girl, she WILL NOT BE ATTRACTED TO YOU. Seriously, you must always have more value than the women otherwise she doesn’t need you for anything and can will dismiss you to seek someone with more value than you.

- Connection - Women love to feel a sense of connection, a feeling that this was meant to happen, it’s fate that you met. They also like to feel an emotional connection and bond with you, like you’re both a friend and a lover.

- Authenticity - There is nothing that turns women away faster than a man that isn’t congruent, if you lie to her she can tell, so follow your words with actions. You can fake it somewhat when you’re learning, but don’t push the boundaries or you’ll get a lot of women running away because they feel something “just isn’t right”, like you’re up to something. It’s better to convey to a women that you want sex straight away (of course don’t tell her verbally, convey that message with your body language and attitude) if that’s what you desire then to try and secretly hide your real intentions and pretend to be her friend to get her into bed.

Notice there is no looks in there. This is because women don’t judge you on how good your look, but rather what your looks mean. For example if you look good you convey both value and status (you’re high up in society as you can afford that gear and you are in touch with reality), while having big muscles shows that you can protect her, so she likes them because of that trait.

I’ll be expanding on all these areas over the next few days, for now simply read, re-read and learn these rules like the back of your hand, for they will form the backbone of your theories of attraction and being able to interact with and date many many women.

Have Fun,

– Solace

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Humans have been breeding since… well, since the time where our ancestors popped one of us out that could be classified as a human really. All of us are the by product of breeding. All of your ancestors were successful in reproducing. You carry genes that have been passed down from parent to child throughout the generations.

What does all this mean? Well, two of the most agreed upon goals of life for any organism is the goal to survive and the goal to replicate or reproduce. These two goals, biologically, are the core purpose of any organism. To continue on the species down our family lines and to spread our genes is a biological success.

Getting down to the basics, there is two ways a person determines if another person is a good person to mate with. Firstly, the person is preferably of the opposite sex (now of course this only explains male to female and vice versa attraction). The person has to have reproductive value for the other, namely, mating with the person will provide the chance of having a baby that has good genes (namely, genes that will help the child survive and replicate). Secondly, a person has to have good survival value. The person is healthy and has qualities about them that continue their survival and they provide their partner and offspring provisions so that they survive and replicate more.

In most cases, females have a higher reproductive value than we do. Females will always have a guy that wants to reproduce with them. Rarely will you see a female without a single guy that will desire them. Even ugly girls, if they went out and offered sex freely could get laid. Getting laid simply isn’t a hard thing for girls to do. Guys hand out sex on a platter to almost all women and therefore the reproductive value of most guys is well, nothing. Unless you have good genes that help your offspring survive and replicate more. I’ll get to this point later, after I explain survival value.

Males however have more survival value. As social creatures we band together in groups. It may sound cliche, but in almost all times in history, the men would go and provide for the family while the women would tend at home. Men are simply built more for hunting and physical work. The men would look after the women and children and thus provide survival value. Nowadays, women can survive on their own. Times have changed and the need to find a male to survive is gone. Also, in this day and age, men are becoming boys and have less and less survival AND replication value.

Now I’m painting a bleak view of the world and you better believe it. In terms of the game of sex, women obviously have the advantage over a vast majority of men. But there is hope. There is a select, small group of men that women like to breed with, men that they go crazy after. These men have the qualities that invoke deep emotions in the women, emotions that were developed through millions of years of evolution. The emotions are telling the women to reproduce with these men because the men display the qualities that genetically have been extremely successful in both survival and replication. Who are these men?

The alpha males. Alpha males are the leaders, the ones with authority and power over a social group and also the ones who have the most part in determining whether the group survives or dies. The alpha males are on the top of the social hierarchy and other males will usually rank themselves down (though this is not entirely conscious). To lead the group, the alpha male has to have important qualities to them. The ability to make decisions, gain trust, have at least respect and even admiration of the group, among other attributes are needed. So why are they so damn attractive to women?

Before the development of society, humans lived in tribes or small groups. The alpha males, being the leader would have the pick of the women to breed with. He would also be well looked after by his followers and this care would extend to his multiple partners and offspring. It would in fact be advantageous for a woman to attempt to breed with the alpha male due to the protection and extra care they and their offspring would gain from the venture. The children of the alpha males would also have qualities of their fathers and these would be the qualities that put him in the position in the first place. Being a child of the alpha, there would be increased chance for the child to become the alpha themselves and have the same opportunities to pass on the genes. The alpha males were ultimately attractive for their survival and replication value.

What about the beta males? Beta males get laid purely on survival value. That is, they have the capacity for looking after the female and their young, they have relatively good genes, and they are safe in that they don’t have as much choice in partners as the alpha males and thus would be more stable in their relationships (and looking after the young). Also, coupled with the fact that there are far more beta males than alpha males, and that the alphas might not want to bump uglies with all the women, statistically and out of necessity, women will still mate with betas. The woman still has the drive to reproduce and when the best is not available, they may settle for less.

So what would be the point of me giving you this bleak (if you’re not an alpha) sounding history lesson? Well, the good news is that as humans, we are intelligent creatures. Well, most of us are anyway, and if you’re reading this at the moment you most definitely have the amount of intelligence needed to understand what I’m going to tell you next.

We’re intelligent creatures and with the invention of language and society, a new era of sexual science had emerged. Our groups became too big and alphas became more dispersed. People could learn and pass on information. People passed on their ideas of attraction and seduction. Previously beta males could learn to become alphas through altering their behaviour, which was also an outcome of intelligence.

Even though our intelligence has developed tremendously in the last however many thousand years of evolution, our emotional brains, having been highly developed through millions of years of hard testing, haven’t changed much at all. This includes the base instincts in females to respond to alpha males and in particularly the qualities that an alpha male possesses. We are able to consciously study and alter behaviour as we wish. If we put in the hard work, we can change our behaviour to fit the blueprints of an alpha male. With verbal communication, we can convey information that denotes us as alpha males.

This is just the next step in our evolution. Women wear makeup, dye their hair, do their nails and have cosmetic surgery to accent and alter their physical attributes to highlight and maximise their attractive qualities. Fortunately, for us males, we only really need to learn to display certain attributes. As a final aside, it is important to remember that evolutionarily, there was no need for verbal game. Our non verbals are much more important than what we say and keeping this in mind will help you immensely through your journey.

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One of the things I often hear when talking to others about attraction and gaming women is that “there is no one way to seduce a girl, because every girl is different”. The thing is, this more often than not comes from someone with very little experience with women. There is some truth to the statement of course, every girl does act slightly differently and throws up a few different challenges. That’s just like driving a car on different roads, of course all roads are going to have different twists and turns, different speed limits and different obstacles jumping out at you, however, the act of driving the car is done nearly exactly the same every single time.

In fact there are a lot of similarities with driving a car and picking up a girl, you start off in the low gears, first gear being the your opening words and initial conversation starter. After a few seconds you throw it into second gear, playing some games, revving up the excitement and having fun together. You bring her into third gear and amp up the sexual tension, this is the gear that takes you from the quick burst of fun into cruising mode. You hit it into fourth and you being just being comfortable around each other, keeping it in fourth to make it around the twists and bends until finally when you hit that straight you gently bump it into 5th and really being to take in the view and the wonders that are women (or driving :)).

Now apparently all girls are different, however as you will discover after doing hundreds of sets, patterns start to emerge and somehow you can see into the future of where the girl is headed with the conversation or how she is feeling at that particular moment, just as if your looking at the road ahead of you and preparing for that next bend. After a while you also begin developing subconscious built in responses to common situations just like changing from first to second gear in a car and swerve to avoid little sticks lying on the road. Remember how when you first began driving and you stalled the car as soon as you tried to take off? Or just pulling out of the parking lot you failed to put it into second and again stalled the car? In those days it took a huge amount of concentration just to get the car to third gear and get going, now however you can drive fine without even thinking about it. This is just like talking to women and interacting in social situations in general. You start to unconsciously react to events without even thinking about them and start being able to handle situations well that most guys would simply walk away from.

Unfortunately most guys seem to be afraid to drive the highways of love, instead choosing to ride their pushbike or even walk, hoping that a random stranger will come give them a lift (an easy lay or girlfriend) which happens every once in a while but really doesn’t get you where you would like to go. Thinking in this way will only get you more frustrated and annoyed then ever before, because your spending as much time in the field as the PUA guys, and your getting little to no results from it.

Taking this new realization that all women are the same under your wing is one of the first steps to realizing that the game isn’t as difficult as many make it out to be. It’s simply that you just don’t have it right yet, the great thing is, once you learn what to do and when to do it it’s all downhill from there. Learning new things as well as dealing with new and unique women takes as little effort as driving on a new road you’ve never been on before.

So why is it that women on the outside appear to be completely different and unique however once you delve deeper they are all quite alike? The primary reason is that women are emotional creatures (well humans as a whole are however women are a lot more emotional than men), they feel the world and feed it back to themselves through their emotions. This is why often when you ask a women to describe why they like a guy they explain that they feel x about him not that they think logical things about him. As with the three brain theory the emotional mind overrules the logical mind especially when attracting a girl and as such girls react in quite similar ways when treated the same way.

This also comes back to backwards rationalization of what they want to do. Because women are emotionally the same but logically different, they will feel the exact same emotions as each other for different things, then backwards rationalize these emotions each to their own unique logical thoughts. This is why on the surface it appears as though all women respond differently and act differently to various things because they logically look like they are, but they are all feeling the same emotions deep inside.

Now that you’ve come to realize that the more effort you put in, the more you will be able to attract women no matter who they are, get out there and practice and above all, just have fun with it. Learn to drive that car and keep learning, observing and improving on your past approaches, continually shifting gears and getting results. Just get out there and have fun.

Have Fun,

– Solace

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It’s something not very often talked about and applies to all areas of everyone’s lives, from the moment you set foot in a store, to dating the cute stranger you met last weekend. Backwards rationalization to put it simply is whereupon you come to a logical conclusion in your brain based on your emotional state, essentially rationalizing emotional choices with logical reasoning.

If you’ve ever been in sales you’ve probably heard of backwards rationalization before, its an often used sales tactic to get a customer emotionally committed to buying an item even if logically they do not need it. This way when someone emotionally wants something you’ll often see them rationalizing with them self, thinking up reasons why they do need the item, and ignoring the reasons they don’t. On the other hand, if someone doesn’t emotionally like something even if they really need it they’ll often talk themselves out of buying it. Which is precisely why sales people exist in the world, not to help people make rational choices (as they can do that on their own by simply browsing) but to emotionally sway them so they logically convince themselves they need something.

This habit of backwards rationalization is also in full force in relationships. It’s been seen and evidenced hundreds of times that the reason why one person likes or stays with another has little to nothing to do with logic, even though it often appears as though it is. Its funny experiment that you take a girl and get her to date 2 different guys. One guy is naturally good with women and the other guy is a bit of a creep. Now they go into a restaurant to get something to eat and 2 key events occur, the guys both open the door for the girl and pull her chair out for her to be able to sit down, and they both tease and make jokes of the girl at the dinner table. Now what’s amazing is often after this date the girl will feel more attracted to the natural guy and repelled by the creepy weird guy. As such the girl backwards rationalizes this with logic, with the guy she’s attracted too she thinks of how sweet he is opening the door and pulling out her chair for her and completely ignores the teasing at the dinner table, however with the creepy guy she does the complete opposite, ignoring the door opening and remembering the teasing, claiming that is the reason why she dislikes this guy.

Of course this also applies to guys, and its a really peculiar facet of human intelligence. It is also the key to understanding relationships, and that what you logically do in a relationship has little to no bearing on the outcome, for if the other person emotionally adores you they are only going to think of the good and forget the bad, and vice versa.

So how does this help you out in life? We’ll once you become consciously aware of why you are doing certain things you can begin to resist people trying to emotionally manipulate you and realize that many decisions you are making are actually due to your emotional state rather than logic. In the short term most people generally do things based on their current emotional state and although this brings short term pleasure it can and will often harm you in the long run.
This isn’t to say don’t trust your emotions however, there are many times where you may chose to go with your intuition, say you get a bad feeling about someone, they rub you the wrong way or just feel like they are hiding something. Often this is your subconcious’s way of telling you it picks up on something they are hiding and feeding it back to you through your emotions and it should be duly noted. This is of prime importance in the business world where it has been witnessed many times of sneaky business men attempting to lure someone into a contract or spending money raising a business based around flawed business models (such as pyramid schemes) by giving them plenty of emotional pleasure with vivid images of huge mansions, luxury yachts and trips around the world, then letting the target know how terrible and painful it would be to work their current job instead of jumping aboard this new bandwagon, often times confusing the target and getting them to sign up to deals based on their emotional state rather than logical decision making.

Don’t go away feeling increased pressure to suppress your emotions today, for they will help you out many times in your life in certain situations. The key is to not simply run on emotions and realize that it’s best to think about a problem logically, then use your emotions (how do you feel about it) and make a decision based on both ways of thinking, which will (provided your not using a balanced amount of emotional and logical thinking) provide you with the correct answer at least 95% of the time.

Have Fun,

– Solace

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You’re talking to a girl. You want her to be attracted to you. I know! If I’m NICE to her and I show her that I’m a safe comfortable guy to be with, she will like me! Yes that’s logical. I’d like to be with a safe comfortable girl. I like it when people give me shit so I’ll give her shit. This just MAKES SENSE.

I’ll say things to her that MAKE SENSE to me. I’ll say things to her that I will make her think, ‘This guy is awesome, I want his babies. He buys me a lot of stuff and he really seems to CARE about me. He’s got SO MUCH going for him. He has a good job, a career path and I know he can support me… and the kids.’

If any of those above thoughts have run through your minds recently, you’re not in the right frame of mind. Remember what women are attracted to/value: she wants EMOTIONS. All the lines you say, all the body language you do (to a lesser extent, I believe body language is a huge part of this) will not work if you’re not aiming to affect the right things. All of those wont work if you’re not focusing on the right things.

What will most girls say when you ask them why they’re attracted to specific men?

It all basically goes like this, and you can test this too:

shift: Why do you like X?
Lady: He makes me feel x, y, z.

They’re not saying, “I like X because he has x, y, z and he is <job>, all things logical, etc”.

What’s the difference? EMOTION. Guys who make the women feel emotions make the women attracted to them. LOGIC does not attract girls. Guys will logic anything. Look at me even now. I’m using LOGIC to deduce that it’s EMOTION that makes the women attracted. Breaking it down is what we’re good at.

Emotion is what gets a girl attracted to you. Ask any girl why they like a particular guy. The answer will probably start with ‘Well he makes me feel…’ and if it doesn’t (she lists logical things ie. money, whatever), you can follow up with ‘well how does (whatever) make you feel’ and you’ll get a feeling. If a guy doesn’t like a girl for a feeling (ie. wants her for sex), what would be the answer to the second question? ‘She’s good in bed, who cares about the feeling’. This difference along with other social conditioning differences is why I believe so many guys just don’t get it.

Most men have been trained NOT to get it.

To summarise, and to make this article short, NEVER TRY TO LOGIC ANY GIRL. It doesn’t matter if you’re in this game to lay a million girls or to get that one girl that you like. Logic will NEVER work. Make her FEEL right. Create good FEELINGS in her.

Love,
shift

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