Lets Inspire

When you think about yourself going on the journey to learn to start really getting good with women, what do you think it will be like? Hundreds and hundreds of women, a phone book full of numbers and a constant supply of sex? Finding the ‘one’ and getting married with kids? Do you see yourself living a successful life after dealing with problems in this area of life?

Next question: How much do you really believe that this is going to happen?

I have trouble imagining the future. Most of my life is lived day by day, minute by minute, with no plans whatsoever. I have some plans for the future, but these are hazy and none are solid. I might be going to med school. I might be doing my masters in psychology. I might be moving into a new house with a bunch of friends. This is the person I am at the moment.

When I think about what it would be like for myself after I have ‘made it’ and become massively successful with women, I think of myself sitting on the balcony in my apartment overlooking the sea, at an undetermined city as of yet, drinking my favourite drink and having my beautiful girlfriend come up behind me and start massaging me, asking if I want steak for breakfast. Hell yes I do bitch.

I think of how my business will be thriving and how that now my income is secure that I can spend time enjoying the things I like doing. I think about how wonderful it is that my girlfriend lets me loose on the streets to pick up more women so that we can both enjoy them. I think about how funny it is that I used to sit in my bed at 4 am after a night out writing about what my current sticking points are and what I could do to make it better, because that’s so far out of my reality that it seems like it’s a scene from someone else’s life.

How much do I believe this is going to be a reality? Honestly, it’s hard for me to really believe that will be me some day. I want to believe in it 100% but it’s an issues that I will need to deal with. What is the effect of this?

100% belief in the fact that you will be that man later in life will help you become that person. Having a vision helps you see the light at the end of the tunnel, so to speak. However, the reality is that this is something that is far in the future. It is a dream that isn’t 100% realised yet (if your dream has been realised, congratulations. I envy you). How do you turn your dreams into reality?

Firstly, realise that it will take time for your dreams to be realised. The deep centred personality change that you’re aiming for is something that will take a while. To cultivate a truly attractive personality takes time and effort. It takes experience and understanding to strip away the barriers that were limiting you from fully expressing yourself.

We live in a society that wants to have everything instantly. Fast internet, fast cars, fast profit, fast food. People want magic pills and instant results from everything. In this area of self improvement and becoming better with women, everyone wants a quick fix, an article that explains their problem, a few lines that they need to memorise to get the woman of their dreams. Anyone who sells a product that says, “This product will give you information that you will have to practice over and over to internalise it. This will take between a few months and a few years but you will be better in the end,” will probably not sell.

Learn to be patient.

After that, start to develop your skills bit by bit. Start approaching women, by just saying, “Hi, my name is ____”. Just learn to do that. It doesn’t matter if you’re getting numbers or lays. You’re learning the basic skills. Eventually, women will start opening up to you after you talk to them. Then learn to take the interaction further. Have 5 minute conversations. Then 10 minute conversations. Then learn how to take numbers. Step by step.

If you focus on the small things in your skill set, and have your larger goal in mind, you will get to the goal. Guaranteed. It has been shown over and over again that ALL types of guys can learn to do this. You are no exception.

Good luck, I’m out there doing this too.

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What if all these self help motivation books really weren’t needed, and you could accomplish anything you desire with absolutely not motivation in life? How would that make you feel? It would truly be inspiring, evolving and allow us all to get where we want to go in life without the need for 21 million motivational books to get us there. This is all entirely possible and devilishly simple, and there only 3 criteria you must meet:

1) You are not an animal
2) You have a logical component to your brain
3) You must have something you desire and want.

Chances are if you can read this article, your already set.

The key to this system of setting and achieving your goals is not that you need to be motivated towards achieving a goal. Like seriously, who is motivated to go to the gym naturally!? probably about 1% of the population at the most. The key is that you must logically know you want to achieve the goal (its something you actually desire in life, and if the work wasn’t hard you would always be working towards it).

So how do we do this? We do it by establishing habits. A Habit is a small easy task that can be repeated over and over and over to accomplish something big. Like writing 1000 words can be a habit, if you do perform that habit over 100 times you can write a 100,000 word book with a minimum of effort. The key is to not think into the future but just think of the now, just focus on the 1000 words for today and get them done, you don’t even need to think about the final product, focus on the now and the rest will take care of itself.

The first step is to grasp exactly what your major task/goal requires, lets take the previous example of writing a book. Writing a book from start to finish requires a bit of planning, and about 100,000 words of writing (of course there are other steps, but these steps like finding a publisher are generally things you WANT to do, not things you HAVE to do). Now we take those tasks and break them down into 1 hour blocks that are easily completable and very simple. For the first week you may spend each day just planning the book. Every day for one hour you need to sit down and write out a skeleton outline for a chapter or two, eventually you will have a basic outline of the book. Next up comes the writing, simply take all your words you need to write, split them up into chunks that you can easily complete in an hour (I aim for 30 minutes because often it takes longer than expected) and do it.

So now you have your chunks you need to accomplish, simply do them, set aside the same block of time and work in the same spot every single day and get your small chunk done for that day. If you have more time and feel like working you can continue doing more than expected but at least get the minimum done. Now oftentimes (especially after about the first week or so) you will feel completely emotionally drained and feel you have absolutely no motivation to continue working. Its at this point you need to switch off your emotions responses and simply go on autopilot, just ignore your emotions screaming out and do it no matter what, you’ll be so thankful you did in the end. At about the 30 day mark if you continue with these habits you’ll realize you actually start to feel off if you don’t perform your task for the day. This is at the point where the habit has become ingrained and from here on in its all downhill to getting whatever it is you desire.

The biggest key to remember is to do it whether your sick, tired, depressed whatever, just do it. No matter how you feel or how the weather is (it’s never perfect) just do it.

It may take you many years to get to your goal but if you stick with this pattern and never give up YOU WILL GET THERE. Say you want to lose 50 pounds, by itself that is a huge goal that seems like its going to need massive changes to be accomplished, but honestly in the real world it doesn’t. The main reason it seems to take so long is simply that those who attempt it don’t have a consistent routine, they may got 3 times a week for 3 weeks then give up and not go to the gym again for 2 months, eliminating all that hard work they performed. Simply establish a habit of going to the gym every day for an hour no matter how you feel, whether your tired, got a headache, exhausted whatever just go there and do exercise for 30 min. If you do this you don’t even need to monitor your weight, simply be safe in the knowledge that if you are going 30 minutes each day and slowly doing more and more exercise every time (as you get fitter) the fat will simply melt away.

This also works really well even doing something not immediately measurable like learning how to be better with women. For this case you don’t need to achieve a certain amount of words or calories per day, but simply put in the time. Being naturally good with women may seem like a mere illusion its so far away, but all it takes is a habit of going out and talking to women for a little bit each and every day, in no time you will discover you are now much much better with women and being in social situations in general than ever before. Even if your motivation completely dies out and you are not compelled at all to go out (although logically you still want to be better with women it I hope), just do that habit and go out for a little bit each day (or just Friday/Saturday nights) and approach at least 5 different groups of women (don’t go out and stand in the corner the entire night or you will accomplish nothing). When your doing that little bit each and every day Its impossible to not get there and the only way you can possibly fail is if you give up. It may take you 2 years, 4 years, or even 10 years to get to a level you want to be at where your comfortable in social situations, but know that the more you put in the more you get out and by just having these little habits your going to be 100x better than the average guys sitting around playing ps2 alone on Friday and Saturday nights.

So do it right now, figure out at least one thing you want to accomplish in your life, break it down and start working on those chunks day by day, who cares if its going to take you 5 years, if you don’t do this its most likely going to take you 25 years, or you may never do it. Just break the task down into little parts, and start going through them, bit by bit by bit, soon you’ll have your finished product and it will all seem way too easy.

Have Fun,

– Solace

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