Lets Inspire

Why can we never get what we want? I mean it’s just sitting there in front of us, you can pretty much be anything you want… to be buff you go to the gym, to get a girlfriend you just talk to girls, to get money you just work hard (and maybe a bit smart). But for some reason you’d much rather just be watching TV while wafting down packet after packet of corn chips.

Why does this happen? Why is it that we can never see the straight path through the fog? Why do we get so confused over some things other people find so easy to do? It’s just 2 primal instincts we as humans stupidly do due to carrying around an emotional system that’s 50,000 years out of date.

The first is the need for everything NOW. The second is “silver bullet syndrome”, the be all and end all of human nature: feeling we all deserve something for nothing, a magic pill that will cure all our problems without any effort.

Why are we driven by these stupid emotions?

50,000 years ago it was a bad idea to wear ourselves out, for then if we suddenly got sprung on by a sneaky lion looking at us and seeing a giant pork chop we wouldn’t be able to defend ourselves. Thus the human body decided it would be a good idea to create resistance to expending lots of energy getting things done, so we don’t get eaten by lions as much.

This is exactly the reason why it’s so damn hard to just start talking to strangers and women you don’t know. 50,000 years ago if you were to randomly talk to women in the tribe, and the tribal leader didn’t like it, you die. He’ll probably bash you in the head with a rock until you resemble a bloody pulp, then feed you to the lions (sure makes the rejections these days seem pretty bland by comparison)
Your emotions were created 50,000 years ago to save you from lions and crazy cavemen, do you really want to trust them? Of course not!

These emotions are holding you back from your true awesome self man! Once you start Ignoring them and push yourself past them you will take on a whole new level of superiority (sounds cool eh?). No longer are you going to be the underdog taking crap from your friends for not being able to talk to women, and no longer will you be afraid of that scary scary bench-press (just imagine it’s a lion, will make it much easier to tame).

The Secret other Personal Development *Gurus* are Hiding:

There’s a scary secret in the personal development community, average people will probably never discover it, because if they do, half the *gurus* would be out of business:

“Most personal development teachers are trying to remove these bad emotions, help you get over them to lead a more successful life. But this honestly isn’t what’s needed; these emotions pretty much NEVER go away, yes NEVER! Often these personal development coaches haven’t even done what they are preaching themselves, and just hoping that by writing about it they can get over their fear and make a little money on the side.”

For gurus, this is cool, because they know that they can’t actually remove the emotions, and they also know that as long as they keep teaching how to in different ways, people will have a little success. Then they keep buying their books hoping to get more and more success, when they didn’t even need the motivation anyway.

Even 2 Years on I STILL feel fear when going to talk to that next woman, and I’ve talked to well over 600-700 women. This isn’t just me either, I’ve talked with some of the most successful pick up artists and IN THE WORLD and all these guys STILL feel anxiety when first approaching a girl they are interested in.

You DO NOT need to get rid of this fear, instead use it to fuel you to action, If you actually start to feel these bad emotions (and you will, believe me), it means you are growing and becoming a better more successful person, and we all want that.

The act of courage isn’t to not have fear, the biggest and best guys in every field have fear and horrible emotions going haywire when they do what they do. The difference between them and the common chode is that they push through this fear with sheer resolve and courage. With this kick ass level of courage they get stronger, faster, better with women and richer than ever.

I’ve gone through this pain myself, pushing myself to go to the gym, go and talk to that girl, do that extra little bit of business work even though every single emotion in my body is telling me to get the hell away from it and start doing more brain-dead activities, like watching TV.

It is incredibly hard in the beginning yes, but it does get easier! No the negative emotions don’t go away, they are going to stick around till you’re rolling in your grave. Them not going away would be horrible anyway, as everyone has the tendency to un-appreciate things that are easy to acquire, the gratification just isn’t there. Once you do what you really want to over and over and over (ad continuum) for at least 4 weeks you just develop the habit. The Habit is really really cool, because once you get it, you just go on autopilot and fly baby! It almost feels like the emotions don’t even matter anymore, because you just do it anyway.

So am I just talking crap or have I really done this myself?

I’ve been going to the gym for 2 years now to bulk up (I was quite a skinny guy 2 years ago, being 5’8” (173cm) and weighing just 110lb (50kg). I used to go to the gym about 3 times a week, sometimes 4, sometimes only 2 and really worked it around my (what I thought was hectic) schedule. I also crap all, but more than the average person. In that time I noticed I was growing slightly, I got a bit bigger, but overall in about 20 months I gained 26lb or 12KG (which is kind of cool, but still nowhere near good enough).

Fast forward to this year: I’m gym every day for an hour and eat more than ever (including a whole of 4 milkshakes a day…) I’ve now had 5 months of this consistent everyday effort of going even when I didn’t want to (and my body would have much rather me broken my arm then go to the gym). In those 4 months I gained another 14KG and put on a hell of a lot of muscle.

I know what you’re thinking: “Oh My God, 4 months of forcing yourself to go every single day! That’s like torture!” OH IT WAS! Nah kidding. In the beginning I thought exactly the same thing, that it would be like pushing a freight train up a hill. Not True! I noticed after just 1 month of going every single day my brain started to realize that I was dead serious, I wasn’t giving this up. So my brain helped me out, some days I would go “nup not going today” and my brain said back to me “oh yes you are bitch, you’re going to feel so much pain you can’t move!”, and my body would like auto-walk itself to the gym at which point I’d have to do the weights. (Ok maybe an exaggeration but it honestly did feel like autopilot mode).

It’s really really cool when this starts to happen because you don’t need to push yourself much anymore, you just go, you don’t even need to think about it, and you get the results you deserve.
So how does this apply to Women? So many guys fail with women simply because they are not applying themselves consistently. Talking to women once or twice a week is exactly the same as going to the gym once or twice a week, you can get somewhere (very very slowly) but the improvements will only be 10% of the rate you could be going at if only you started talking to people every day.

Thus to greatly accelerate any results you are having, Be Religiously Consistant! By going to the gym and going all out 2-3 days a week, then doing crap all for the other 4-5 days in the week (eating junk, sitting around on the couch eating cheezos) you are only driving yourself backwards. That extra effort you just put in on those gym days was just completely destroyed by being a complete sloth. Don’t do what the majority do because it’s easier, you’re only going to get what the majority of people get, an expensive gym membership with nothing to show for it.

Same goes for women. Don’t feel like talking to that cute girl on the train? Too bad! Do it anyway! In fact I’ll challenge you, whenever you talk to a girl on the train/bus/clubbing etc, email me, and I’ll match it, It’ll be like a little competition (perhaps I may give you a prize or two if you put in extra effort )

Until Next Time,

Have Fun!

– Solace

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Technorati Tags: attraction, Dating, Emotions, health, silver bullet syndrome

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I think an entire article needs to be written to address this topic because its something I see guys try and fail at time and time and time again,. It just doesn’t seem to be getting into guys heads, all this social preconditioning from the environment is telling us the exact opposite so why should you believe me? Your probably confused as to what it is I am talking about here, I’m talking about trying to get a girl to *like* you, trying to somehow persuade her by putting her on a pedestal, bending to her every whim and acting like her little bitch. Every guy says he’s not controlled by his women, then 10 minutes later he’ll be talking about how he’s going to take her away on a romantic vacation to impress her and show her how much of a good guy he is… ugh… it’s any wonder women get bored easily with men, they are so predictable, so boring and they all act alike.

Women don’t want to be put on a pedestal, you better get that into your head now or its going to be a harsh and painful learning lesson for you, with girls telling you your just “not compatible”, “not her type” or she “doesn’t feel anything for you” time and time again. You see these girls could have felt something with you, if you were more fun, challenging and gave her what she really wanted, rather than being another ass-kisser who bends to their every whim. Sorry about being so harsh but it seems to just not be getting through to a lot of guys, of course I’m quite sure those same guys are going to give me quotes of thousands of girls saying things like “I want a guy that treats me like a princess”. Yes that is what girls SAY they want, which is in reality quite far away from what they really desire. If you actually look at those same girls that say they want a guy that treats them like a princess you will find them dating guy’s that are the complete opposite of that, bikers, idiots that treat them bad and more, because that is what they are REALLY attracted to, at a deep emotional level, not at a logical “what a sane girl thinks” level. If you ever want to know what a women really wants, look at what she does and how she acts, not what she says.

Along with this comes the same old thing all guys tend to do (hell I even see myself doing it sometimes) and that is changing your likes and dislikes to match hers, perhaps she likes a certain band, so you pretend to like them too in order to get her to like you more. This never works and you’ll often end up doing things you hate to appease her then not getting anywhere anyway. Having likes and dislikes in common rarely attracts people together, having core personality traits that are similar is great, just not likes and dislikes. Often its more fun for women to be with someone who likes all the opposite bands/foods/drinks to them as that person will be more adventurous and fun to be around, not a predictable bore. Most of all don’t pretend to be someone your not, don’t pretend to be caring for the elderly if you hate them, and don’t say you love children if you can’t stand them, it’s just not going to work out well if you start off lying like this.

Last of all just be yourself. Now being yourself doesn’t mean being sloppy, farting when you like and/or being rude or arrogant towards her, it simply means treating her like you would a female friend. If you don’t have any female friends I’d HIGHLY suggest you go out and get some as they are a godsend, don’t listen to what they say about attracting girls (though watch what kind of guys they go for) and just hang around them only as friends (don’t hit on them, or do anything sexual AT ALL). Just get comfortable being around them and you’ll be comfortable around women in general, realizing that they are not so scary and often just like you. Now being yourself means simply treating your girl as if she was a female friend, you treat her with respect and politeness and slightly different to your male mates, but you don’t go putting her on a pedestal (because there’s nothing you want/need from her) and you don’t treat her more special than anyone else. This is honestly just how girls want to be treated, just like everyone else (with some sexual spice on the side ), and they just want guys to be their normal natural selves around them. Can’t you do that for her?To recieve more amazing content like this every day Subscribe to our Newsletter for free Instantly. Every day you’ll recieve heaps of amazing content you won’t find anywhere else. Click here to Subscribe Now.

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When you think about yourself going on the journey to learn to start really getting good with women, what do you think it will be like? Hundreds and hundreds of women, a phone book full of numbers and a constant supply of sex? Finding the ‘one’ and getting married with kids? Do you see yourself living a successful life after dealing with problems in this area of life?

Next question: How much do you really believe that this is going to happen?

I have trouble imagining the future. Most of my life is lived day by day, minute by minute, with no plans whatsoever. I have some plans for the future, but these are hazy and none are solid. I might be going to med school. I might be doing my masters in psychology. I might be moving into a new house with a bunch of friends. This is the person I am at the moment.

When I think about what it would be like for myself after I have ‘made it’ and become massively successful with women, I think of myself sitting on the balcony in my apartment overlooking the sea, at an undetermined city as of yet, drinking my favourite drink and having my beautiful girlfriend come up behind me and start massaging me, asking if I want steak for breakfast. Hell yes I do bitch.

I think of how my business will be thriving and how that now my income is secure that I can spend time enjoying the things I like doing. I think about how wonderful it is that my girlfriend lets me loose on the streets to pick up more women so that we can both enjoy them. I think about how funny it is that I used to sit in my bed at 4 am after a night out writing about what my current sticking points are and what I could do to make it better, because that’s so far out of my reality that it seems like it’s a scene from someone else’s life.

How much do I believe this is going to be a reality? Honestly, it’s hard for me to really believe that will be me some day. I want to believe in it 100% but it’s an issues that I will need to deal with. What is the effect of this?

100% belief in the fact that you will be that man later in life will help you become that person. Having a vision helps you see the light at the end of the tunnel, so to speak. However, the reality is that this is something that is far in the future. It is a dream that isn’t 100% realised yet (if your dream has been realised, congratulations. I envy you). How do you turn your dreams into reality?

Firstly, realise that it will take time for your dreams to be realised. The deep centred personality change that you’re aiming for is something that will take a while. To cultivate a truly attractive personality takes time and effort. It takes experience and understanding to strip away the barriers that were limiting you from fully expressing yourself.

We live in a society that wants to have everything instantly. Fast internet, fast cars, fast profit, fast food. People want magic pills and instant results from everything. In this area of self improvement and becoming better with women, everyone wants a quick fix, an article that explains their problem, a few lines that they need to memorise to get the woman of their dreams. Anyone who sells a product that says, “This product will give you information that you will have to practice over and over to internalise it. This will take between a few months and a few years but you will be better in the end,” will probably not sell.

Learn to be patient.

After that, start to develop your skills bit by bit. Start approaching women, by just saying, “Hi, my name is ____”. Just learn to do that. It doesn’t matter if you’re getting numbers or lays. You’re learning the basic skills. Eventually, women will start opening up to you after you talk to them. Then learn to take the interaction further. Have 5 minute conversations. Then 10 minute conversations. Then learn how to take numbers. Step by step.

If you focus on the small things in your skill set, and have your larger goal in mind, you will get to the goal. Guaranteed. It has been shown over and over again that ALL types of guys can learn to do this. You are no exception.

Good luck, I’m out there doing this too.

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Isn’t it amazing how the most simple things can often bring us the most joy. I mean when the sun is shining, the kids are smiling and your having an amazing day just laying around in the park or on the beach, your job, car, house, possessions and everything you *think* brings you joy just seem to fade away into nonexistence. Joy is not something that is found, it is created. It is that strange mirage that always seems just out of reach when really it’s been beside you the entire time. Joy is something so incredibly simple to bring into your life its a wonder we aren’t all currently happy. Each and every day of my life I do 3 things that bring me happiness and balance to my life, and these are things that I think anyone can perform to bring a sense of wellness to their lives.

The first task is to do a bit of exercise. This can be anything from going for a 30 minute walk to a bike ride, a swim, going to the gym, essentially anything. Exercise releases endorphins into your brain which not only give you a natural energy boost and significant mental clarity, but also get you on a natural high and have you feeling very happy. You’ll find if you start exercising regularly you’ll love the endorphins and become addicted to the amazing health benefits they provide, which is great for your mental state and your body. Another thing many don’t know about is that of Vitamin D, the happiness vitamin. Vitamin D is a natural vitamin that is comes to the earth through sunlight, when you go outside for exercise in the sun you absorb Vitamin D from the sunlight and it in turn makes you happy, which is why on bleak rainy days everyone often feels down, this is because of the lack of vitamin D they are acquiring that day.

The second task is to do some work. It’s weird that we feel down if we don’t accomplish anything during the day, this need to work is entirely natural however, as it is part of our life journey to serving and helping out the greater good. Working doesn’t necessarily need to be something you dislike, many people find writing a blog entry or working on a book fun, others really want to program a great computer game, find your passion and work with it rather than against it. Work shouldn’t be defined by doing something you dislike but should be something that helps others in some way and hopefully helps the greater good and society as a whole. Doing something to serve and help others is a great way of not only improving the human race, but furthering your own development and giving yourself that amazing joy you can only get by giving.

Socializing is the last task on the list, getting into conversation with friends and family will improve your days so much. Socializing is one of our most basic needs, the need to feel accepted and be a part of society is huge and just talking with other people releases more good chemicals in your brain that help keep you sane and stable. This is why most of the people in the world who have breakdowns often have them due to lack of a social life or having a falling out in a relationship and not having that daily socializing with their partner anymore. Not only this but you can learn so many new amazing, mind opening things if you take the time to listen to what people have to say and learn from them. Remember talking works both ways and while you are improving your happiness and your life you are also helping to make them happier people and help them in their lives.

So there you have it, 3 tasks that if performed daily will keep you in balance and feeling more joyous and prosperous than ever before.

Have fun,

– Solace
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What if all these self help motivation books really weren’t needed, and you could accomplish anything you desire with absolutely not motivation in life? How would that make you feel? It would truly be inspiring, evolving and allow us all to get where we want to go in life without the need for 21 million motivational books to get us there. This is all entirely possible and devilishly simple, and there only 3 criteria you must meet:

1) You are not an animal
2) You have a logical component to your brain
3) You must have something you desire and want.

Chances are if you can read this article, your already set.

The key to this system of setting and achieving your goals is not that you need to be motivated towards achieving a goal. Like seriously, who is motivated to go to the gym naturally!? probably about 1% of the population at the most. The key is that you must logically know you want to achieve the goal (its something you actually desire in life, and if the work wasn’t hard you would always be working towards it).

So how do we do this? We do it by establishing habits. A Habit is a small easy task that can be repeated over and over and over to accomplish something big. Like writing 1000 words can be a habit, if you do perform that habit over 100 times you can write a 100,000 word book with a minimum of effort. The key is to not think into the future but just think of the now, just focus on the 1000 words for today and get them done, you don’t even need to think about the final product, focus on the now and the rest will take care of itself.

The first step is to grasp exactly what your major task/goal requires, lets take the previous example of writing a book. Writing a book from start to finish requires a bit of planning, and about 100,000 words of writing (of course there are other steps, but these steps like finding a publisher are generally things you WANT to do, not things you HAVE to do). Now we take those tasks and break them down into 1 hour blocks that are easily completable and very simple. For the first week you may spend each day just planning the book. Every day for one hour you need to sit down and write out a skeleton outline for a chapter or two, eventually you will have a basic outline of the book. Next up comes the writing, simply take all your words you need to write, split them up into chunks that you can easily complete in an hour (I aim for 30 minutes because often it takes longer than expected) and do it.

So now you have your chunks you need to accomplish, simply do them, set aside the same block of time and work in the same spot every single day and get your small chunk done for that day. If you have more time and feel like working you can continue doing more than expected but at least get the minimum done. Now oftentimes (especially after about the first week or so) you will feel completely emotionally drained and feel you have absolutely no motivation to continue working. Its at this point you need to switch off your emotions responses and simply go on autopilot, just ignore your emotions screaming out and do it no matter what, you’ll be so thankful you did in the end. At about the 30 day mark if you continue with these habits you’ll realize you actually start to feel off if you don’t perform your task for the day. This is at the point where the habit has become ingrained and from here on in its all downhill to getting whatever it is you desire.

The biggest key to remember is to do it whether your sick, tired, depressed whatever, just do it. No matter how you feel or how the weather is (it’s never perfect) just do it.

It may take you many years to get to your goal but if you stick with this pattern and never give up YOU WILL GET THERE. Say you want to lose 50 pounds, by itself that is a huge goal that seems like its going to need massive changes to be accomplished, but honestly in the real world it doesn’t. The main reason it seems to take so long is simply that those who attempt it don’t have a consistent routine, they may got 3 times a week for 3 weeks then give up and not go to the gym again for 2 months, eliminating all that hard work they performed. Simply establish a habit of going to the gym every day for an hour no matter how you feel, whether your tired, got a headache, exhausted whatever just go there and do exercise for 30 min. If you do this you don’t even need to monitor your weight, simply be safe in the knowledge that if you are going 30 minutes each day and slowly doing more and more exercise every time (as you get fitter) the fat will simply melt away.

This also works really well even doing something not immediately measurable like learning how to be better with women. For this case you don’t need to achieve a certain amount of words or calories per day, but simply put in the time. Being naturally good with women may seem like a mere illusion its so far away, but all it takes is a habit of going out and talking to women for a little bit each and every day, in no time you will discover you are now much much better with women and being in social situations in general than ever before. Even if your motivation completely dies out and you are not compelled at all to go out (although logically you still want to be better with women it I hope), just do that habit and go out for a little bit each day (or just Friday/Saturday nights) and approach at least 5 different groups of women (don’t go out and stand in the corner the entire night or you will accomplish nothing). When your doing that little bit each and every day Its impossible to not get there and the only way you can possibly fail is if you give up. It may take you 2 years, 4 years, or even 10 years to get to a level you want to be at where your comfortable in social situations, but know that the more you put in the more you get out and by just having these little habits your going to be 100x better than the average guys sitting around playing ps2 alone on Friday and Saturday nights.

So do it right now, figure out at least one thing you want to accomplish in your life, break it down and start working on those chunks day by day, who cares if its going to take you 5 years, if you don’t do this its most likely going to take you 25 years, or you may never do it. Just break the task down into little parts, and start going through them, bit by bit by bit, soon you’ll have your finished product and it will all seem way too easy.

Have Fun,

– Solace

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