Lets Inspire

Because I’ve been doing dating teaching for so long, yet I’m in a relationship (and have been for the past year), people always ask me “why don’t you teach relationship advice”. The truth is, compared to the amount of dates I’ve been to, women I’ve talked to and phone numbers I’ve acquired, this one year relationship is practically nothing (in terms of experience). I like to help out guys who are having problems with their relationships, as you’ve seen in the article How to Get Your Ex Back, and Keep Her Forever, however it’s not the primary focus of this site.

The reason for this post is that I do want to help you if you are having problems with an ex, as I’ve been there before and totally understand how impossibly hard it is to even get a word in with her. It’s like overnight she changed from being this amazing woman who loves you to bits, to someone that couldn’t care less. Although she’s changed I know you would love to have that old girlfriend back, the loving caring one, and without the right help, it’s pretty much never going to happen.

A Friend of mine (With a hell of a lot more relationship experience than me) has actually written his own book on getting back with your Ex, going into great detail of the exact steps you need to take to understand the underlying problems that caused the breakup and what you need to do to fix them. I’d honestly recommend his advice even more than my own because I know he has the years and years of relationship experience behind him. You can check it out by clicking here.

Of course I don’t want to leave you without any tips of my own, even though they are pretty much only skim the surface of the issue of getting back with your ex.

Most guys go about it backwards, and give her more of what was driving her away in the first place, more approval seeking, more begging, and more need to impress, all of which are things she hated and wished you’d just stop.

You see women want you to be strong, If you bend over backwards to try and get them back with flowers, chocolates etc it’s just not going to work. Unfortunately as much as Hollywood has influenced you to believe this is the way a man should act, it’s pretty close to the opposite. Women want many things from a man before even considering taking her back (and none involve giving her what essentially are *bribes* to try and win back her heart). They are:

• Being able to get along just fine without her – Telling her you need her or you’ll just never be the same again is in her eyes very pathetic. She doesn’t want a leech of her time and energy, she wants a guy who can survive just fine without her who can show her amazing things, she wants to have a fun relationship not BE the relationship.
• Treating her like you did when you first met – Unless you stalked/bribed her until she gave in and started dating you this is probably the best place to go back to. Treat her like a friend, be friendly, don’t strangle her with your love and stop focusing all your attention on her. Remember what it was that got her interested in you in the first place (it was probably one of the things in the ebook to your right, not that you took her to fancy restaurants…).
• If she doesn’t want to talk, stop calling her – Calling her if you know she’s ignoring you is only going to make her more annoyed, lay off the phone and enjoy your life, your life was amazing before you met her, it can be amazing without her too. Give it a week or two and she may be in a calmer more talkative mood.

In case you forgot you can check out my friends book at: http://www.letisnspire.net/getexback, If you would like any help at all definitely check it out.

Enjoy,

Solace

Related Links

• Break Up Advice – Breaking up can be a very emotional experience for both the partners and in most cases especially for the one who was least prepared for it or the one who was least expecting it. If you are going through a break up right now, …
• What are the methods in getting back with your ex-girlfriend? – Recently, I broke up with my gf because i neglected her for the last 2months and i regret that. We still love each other but she said we need time and most likely she does not love me anymore because i left her alone when she needed me …
• How To Get Ex Back. Secrets Revealed On How To Get An Ex Back By … – Have you recently suffered the pain and loss of a break up, and just want to get them back? But how to get an ex back? What words will you use when you ..
• Get Her Back – Get Her Back – Relationship Repair Master Plan I want to share with you a Get Your Girlfriend Back tip. It’s something I discovered in How To Get Her Back For Good – A Shortcut Strategy For Getting Your Girlfriend Back Without Using …
• Ex Factor – Get Your Ex Back – Ex Factor Have you heard of the Ex Factor? It’sa common condition especially if you love your ex and you want to get back together with your ex. The ex factor means you still have feelings for your ex. …

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I can see it now, you tried your hardest to make it work but she just seemed to get more and more distant, unfortunately you never saw it coming, that dreaded day when for no reason it all she decided to dump you. I understand how much it hurts, I’ve been there before and it’s never good, especially when you don’t believe you’ve done anything wrong. But let there not be despair, for you can win back her heart, although it’s not the way most people teach or understand, for often what you think will win her back only drives her further away.

Generally there are 2 reasons for a breakup, the first is to go out the back door, where she loves but hates you at the same time, maybe you were too arrogant or treated her worse than she deserved. The second way is the way most guys often cause the breakup, and that’s going out the front door, being too overly nice, letting her walk all over you, and being incredibly clingy and needy. Now society often tells us if we want to win a girl back, buy her flowers and chocolates and show how much you love her. Unfortunately this method of getting a girl back ONLY works if you went out the backdoor and treated her badly. If you went out the front door this WILL NOT WORK, no way, no how, you’re just doing more of the thing she hates, how could that possibly make her want to take you back?

If you went out the front door there is hope, but its going to take a lot of willpower and most likely isn’t what you want to hear, however, pay attention for if you don’t take heed and decide to buy her flowers instead… well… there’s not much hope for ever getting her back into your life.

So you’re still with me here? Good. To start off with, you need to reframe the situation, don’t think of it as getting her back, you need to reverse the situation in your mind to imagine that it’s her that wants to get back into your life, I know its hard, but it works and as soon as you start thinking and really believing this, she will feel it and start feeling it too.

Now one of the worst things you can do when your trying to get her back is beg/plead or complain to her, for its going to send her running far far away. Don’t call her all the time (in fact don’t call her at all unless its to arrange a meetup, which is explained later), and especially don’t try and *bump* into her at work or something, 99% of the time when I see guys try and do that they are so completely obvious and see through about it.

Before you even think about getting her back make sure you have figured out what the problem was that drove her away and fix it. Now never ask her why she broke up (or at least don’t take that as a valid answer) because whatever reason why gives is nearly always not the truth, she is lying to protect you from the cold hard realities of real life, it sucks, but its true. Usually the main things they come up with are either

• Want to concentrate more on their work/studies
• Not looking for a relationship right now
• They accuse you of being too uncaring/unloving

All of these are completely and utterly false (and I’m sure if your reading this far you’re definitely not an uncaring/unloving person). Most usually the top 3 reasons for her wanting to break up are either:

• You were being too clingy/needy
• You were letting her walk all over you
• You weren’t being an alpha male

Yep, pretty much all relationships which end because you go out the front door involve one or more of those reasons. You need to discover what it is your doing (were you calling all the time, wanting to hang out constantly, not giving her time to miss you, what was it?) and fix it BEFORE you even attempt to talk to her again.

So now you’ve got that handled what do you do next? We’ll the next thing to do is fill your life up with stuff, join a club, play a sport, take up an instrument, join a gym (joining a gym is a really good idea actually, releases endorphins that help out a lot with breakup blues and you get better looking for her or the next girl that comes along) anything you like. Not only will this take your mind off her but it gives you something to talk about when you meet up with her again, and it appears that your moving on with life and not pining over her anymore (which she will like). Plus the less time you have to spend with women, the more time they want to spend with you.

Next up is the meetup, don’t try and meet up with her one on one to discuss your *feelings* and how you long for her again yada, yada, yada, she’ll appear to sympathize with you for all of about 30 minutes then as soon as you’ve finished, she will walk away and decide she never wants to see you again, and I can 100% guarantee that.

To meet up with her invite her out for something with a group of your mates (and get her to bring friends along too if she likes). Then when you have a meetup treat her just like any other friend, joke around, have fun and tease her a little as if shes your little sister who you like to pick on and have fun with. This will get her wondering “wow he really has moved on with life… maybe I still do like him”, or at the very least it won’t push her away. Also If there are other girls out with you flirt with them a bit (don’t do it just to get a reaction from your ex, just have fun) and your ex will catch on and if there is any inkling of love left in her she will start to feel jealous, and as we all know, jealousy works wonders.

Now sometimes she may not want you back and this has no effect at all, if so not much is going to help and your best bet is to move on and see other women, which in itself isn’t such a bad thing, you may find a girl 10x better than your ex.

If she does show signs of interest, don’t try and make moves or go all soppy on her at the first sign, act like a man, pretend its nothing and make her work to win you back. You’re the prize here that she’s trying to get back into her life, so act like one, play hard to get and she’ll soon be back in your arms.

Most of all don’t ask her out one on one until your completely 100% sure she’s into you again, don’t act like you did before getting all clingy and needy and wanting to see her all the time, and definitely don’t start buying her diner/flowers etc just because she’s back in your life, you should be the prize she wants, not the other way around.

Try it out now and if it doesn’t work out, don’t sweat it, there are plenty of resources here on letsinspire that will allow you to attract any women you desire and with 3 billion women out there, as much as you think there aren’t, I’m 100% sure there are plenty more amazing women out there for you. Just keep living an awesome life, seeing other women and if you’re meant to be with your ex forever, something will happen to bring you together again, if not, it just wasn’t meant to be.

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