Lets Inspire

You’re a polite individual. You say please and thank you, and treat people with decency and respect. However, for some reason this does not seem to have a positive influence on your social life – in fact, quite the opposite. You still feel awkward around your peers, tongue tied where others speak freely in social situations, and find the girls of your dreams walking straight past you, into the arms of the biggest jerk in the world.

Don’t worry. You’re not alone in your confusion. The difficulty you’re having comes from a misconception in what constitutes politeness itself.

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When you think about yourself going on the journey to learn to start really getting good with women, what do you think it will be like? Hundreds and hundreds of women, a phone book full of numbers and a constant supply of sex? Finding the ‘one’ and getting married with kids? Do you see yourself living a successful life after dealing with problems in this area of life?

Next question: How much do you really believe that this is going to happen?

I have trouble imagining the future. Most of my life is lived day by day, minute by minute, with no plans whatsoever. I have some plans for the future, but these are hazy and none are solid. I might be going to med school. I might be doing my masters in psychology. I might be moving into a new house with a bunch of friends. This is the person I am at the moment.

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Isn’t it amazing how the most simple things can often bring us the most joy. I mean when the sun is shining, the kids are smiling and your having an amazing day just laying around in the park or on the beach, your job, car, house, possessions and everything you *think* brings you joy just seem to fade away into nonexistence. Joy is not something that is found, it is created. It is that strange mirage that always seems just out of reach when really it’s been beside you the entire time. Joy is something so incredibly simple to bring into your life its a wonder we aren’t all currently happy. Each and every day of my life I do 3 things that bring me happiness and balance to my life, and these are things that I think anyone can perform to bring a sense of wellness to their lives.

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We all have perfect game. I know you are awesome and have so many amazing things that women would love about you. From the Little quirks you have to the grand ideas about the future of the world, the government and everyone, you are destined for great things if only you could express yourself. The only problem is, nobody can see this, because of a multitude of social barriers we all employ within ourselves that stop our true selves from coming out.

Social barriers are simply layers that we have built around ourselves to protect us from the outside world, they are barriers we put up when meeting new people which protect us from being emotionally hurt when talking to others. Introverted people aren’t actually introverts at all, but rather extroverts who have many social barriers inside their head that stop them from saying certain things. If you look into people’s thoughts, you’ll often find both introverts and extroverts think about the same amount of stuff, however introverts simply have more filters in their head that tell them “don’t say that, it’s stupid” or “you’ll get rejected if you tell her you like her” etc. Extroverts on the other hand don’t have these barriers, so they may say more stupid things from time to time, but on the whole they are generally more the life of the party because they talk so much that these stupid things just fade away in the conversation. No one really notices the bad things they say as they are strung among many good conversational topics or people simply forget about them.

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So you want to know why you just abused that guy in the car in front of you within a split second without logic coming in to play? Perhaps you want to know why you are attracted to certain men/women and not others? Or even why your dog does the crazy things he does? It all comes down to the three brain theory, explaining why we humans are the most evolved species on this planet yet still sometimes act like lizards and why we still make irrational decisions when we’re in love, then think they are completely logical.

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Many years ago, there was an ancient Buddhist Monk who had a great way of looking at life, he would talk to someone and ask one very simple question which nobody could ever answer correctly, “who are you”. You see when told a question like this most say something like “I am solace”, “I am a writer”, “I am a Buddhist” etc. and every time someone would answer with one of these answers he would ask them again “no, who are YOU”. It generally takes some time but more often than not, the person will come to realize the true meaning of those words and reach a higher level of consciousness.

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Humans have been breeding since… well, since the time where our ancestors popped one of us out that could be classified as a human really. All of us are the by product of breeding. All of your ancestors were successful in reproducing. You carry genes that have been passed down from parent to child throughout the generations.

What does all this mean? Well, two of the most agreed upon goals of life for any organism is the goal to survive and the goal to replicate or reproduce. These two goals, biologically, are the core purpose of any organism. To continue on the species down our family lines and to spread our genes is a biological success.

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You’ve probably heard of Silver Bullet Syndrome many times in your life, but never fully consciously realized the term. Maybe you’ve even bought a few silver bullets yourself, but never realized just what it is they were. Unfortunately Silver Bullet Syndrome is currently one of the biggest problems in society, wasting peoples time and money chasing imaginary promises.

So what is silver bullet syndrome? Essentially a silver bullet is a quick cure to your problems, a solution that fixes a problem you are having with little to no effort on your part and a minuscule amount of time, its the lazy persons way out of doing hard work. You’ve seen them in every field, from weight loss pills that promise you the fat will simply melt away with a minimum of effort, to dating books which claim they can get you laid with new women within 30 minutes or less, 100% of the time and you can learn it within a week. From push button businesses that spit out cash like an ATM machine, to electronic machines that make your muscles grow as you sleep.

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It’s something not very often talked about and applies to all areas of everyone’s lives, from the moment you set foot in a store, to dating the cute stranger you met last weekend. Backwards rationalization to put it simply is whereupon you come to a logical conclusion in your brain based on your emotional state, essentially rationalizing emotional choices with logical reasoning.

If you’ve ever been in sales you’ve probably heard of backwards rationalization before, its an often used sales tactic to get a customer emotionally committed to buying an item even if logically they do not need it. This way when someone emotionally wants something you’ll often see them rationalizing with them self, thinking up reasons why they do need the item, and ignoring the reasons they don’t. On the other hand, if someone doesn’t emotionally like something even if they really need it they’ll often talk themselves out of buying it. Which is precisely why sales people exist in the world, not to help people make rational choices (as they can do that on their own by simply browsing) but to emotionally sway them so they logically convince themselves they need something.

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When starting out the the area of self development and growth, one of the most important and basic skills to learn is the skill to deal with issues in your life.

Many sources often overlook the process of how to change. The process is long and hard, and often you will lose motivation and forget your goals for self improvement. While you may yearn for instant gratification and instant change, the reality is that it just wont happen overnight. Habits take a long time to form and break; deeper psychological issues that a long time to resolve.

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