Lets Inspire

If you’re new here, you may want to subscribe to my RSS feed. Thanks for visiting!

Something I’ve come to terms with over my life is that I (and I know many other humans, especially girls) am a highly emotional creature. I’ve realized this when reading an article from a good friend, he was discussing how often most people stick with one relationship even if they don’t like it that much and keep it going till it dies because they feel fearful of going out and just don’t feel right meeting new people and working on their dating skills. So they stick around till it dies out, then about 2 days to a month after the breakup they start to feel a sense of loss or an insatiable sex drive and start getting emotional, their emotions are telling them to go out and meet new people. So they go out a few nights, meet one girl/guy then decide to settle down again because they don’t feel this emotional need anymore… and so the cycle continues.

This is what is known as being reactive rather than proactive and is often one of many people’s fatal flaws. Being reactive to events is where you feel lacking in some area of your life and your emotions (not your logic) tell you to fix it, of course you backwards rationalise this with logic so it all makes sense in your mind. All too often you start something such as going to the gym, get to a point where your ok with how your look but not the best you could be and your emotions fade away simply because your ok now and you don’t NEED to put in any more work, so you don’t, and you just sit at that weight. Then a few months down the track after giving up on the gym the weight begins to slip back on again, you gain a few KG and start feeling bad about yourself, so you go to the gym again, get to an ok level, and then rest, repeating the cycle. This is taking a reactive approach to life and it generally involves moving away from the bad but never pushing your boundaries to go further than above average, and in turn not accomplishing what you’d really like to accomplish.

Being proactive on the other hand is taking a more logical route to life. It involves planning ahead and sticking to that plan no matter what happens, whether you feel depressed, sick or tired, whether the rain is rain, hail or snow you will stick with that plan. Pro-activeness is a rare quality found in very few people (because it is a logical process we haven’t evolved into this higher state of being yet) and it is one of the things that everyone who is successful in any endeavour of life has acquired. Attaining Pro-activeness is not an easy task (as the reason why 99% of people are reactive, to varying degrees) and requires much time and dedication to acquire.

Not all hope is lost however, for it can be done quite simply with the use of self discipline, goal setting and taking the reigns of your logic in order to control your emotions. One of the first steps is to try doing easy tasks and disciplining yourself to do them no matter what happens, whether you feel tired, moody, upset, anything, you still do those tasks. One such easy task that most should be able to accomplish is getting out of bed and showering every morning. Believe it or not this does require self discipline and being able to do it means you are somewhat proactive, congratulations :). Once this is accomplished the next task should be something bigger, try getting out of bed as soon as the alarm goes off every morning and set it for an early-ish time (4pm doesn’t count). Once you’ve accomplished this you can move onto bigger and better goals involving more than just a morning start, perhaps you’d like to write a book, do stand-up comedy, or craft the perfect body it’s all easily possible with self-discipline and being proactive.

The key is not to try and start too big, your proactive muscles are just like your physical muscles, trying to organise your entire day to doing highly productive tasks and never slipping when you can’t even get out of bed before midday is akin to going to the gym and stacking 200kg on the bench-press, your not going to get anywhere and will just cause yourself to feel bad if you don’t accomplish these tasks. Instead start small and build your proactive muscles, keep going with these small tasks and once you’ve accomplished them move onto something bigger and more productive. In no time at all you’ll find yourself having more free time (because you did what you needed to do when you said you would rather than procrastinating half the day), you’ll be better off than ever before (accomplishing what you really want to accomplish). You’ll genuinely feel happier and better about life, as your no longer a slave to your emotions and you can do what you want, when you want and get it done with ease.

Use your logic rather than your emotions when making decisions and you’ll find yourself accomplishing all that you’ve ever dreamed of. Plan ahead and set goals then stick to them, but don’t beat yourself up if you don’t achieve them, simply take smaller baby steps towards your goal rather than trying to tackle it all at once. Finally work your proactive self discipline muscles each and every day and you’ll find yourself going places you’ve never ever dreamed of going before.

Have fun,

– Solace

To recieve more amazing content like this every day Subscribe to our Newsletter for free Instantly. Every day you’ll recieve heaps of amazing content you won’t find anywhere else. Click here to Subscribe Now.

If you enjoyed this post, make sure you subscribe to my RSS feed!

It’s something not very often talked about and applies to all areas of everyone’s lives, from the moment you set foot in a store, to dating the cute stranger you met last weekend. Backwards rationalization to put it simply is whereupon you come to a logical conclusion in your brain based on your emotional state, essentially rationalizing emotional choices with logical reasoning.

If you’ve ever been in sales you’ve probably heard of backwards rationalization before, its an often used sales tactic to get a customer emotionally committed to buying an item even if logically they do not need it. This way when someone emotionally wants something you’ll often see them rationalizing with them self, thinking up reasons why they do need the item, and ignoring the reasons they don’t. On the other hand, if someone doesn’t emotionally like something even if they really need it they’ll often talk themselves out of buying it. Which is precisely why sales people exist in the world, not to help people make rational choices (as they can do that on their own by simply browsing) but to emotionally sway them so they logically convince themselves they need something.

This habit of backwards rationalization is also in full force in relationships. It’s been seen and evidenced hundreds of times that the reason why one person likes or stays with another has little to nothing to do with logic, even though it often appears as though it is. Its funny experiment that you take a girl and get her to date 2 different guys. One guy is naturally good with women and the other guy is a bit of a creep. Now they go into a restaurant to get something to eat and 2 key events occur, the guys both open the door for the girl and pull her chair out for her to be able to sit down, and they both tease and make jokes of the girl at the dinner table. Now what’s amazing is often after this date the girl will feel more attracted to the natural guy and repelled by the creepy weird guy. As such the girl backwards rationalizes this with logic, with the guy she’s attracted too she thinks of how sweet he is opening the door and pulling out her chair for her and completely ignores the teasing at the dinner table, however with the creepy guy she does the complete opposite, ignoring the door opening and remembering the teasing, claiming that is the reason why she dislikes this guy.

Of course this also applies to guys, and its a really peculiar facet of human intelligence. It is also the key to understanding relationships, and that what you logically do in a relationship has little to no bearing on the outcome, for if the other person emotionally adores you they are only going to think of the good and forget the bad, and vice versa.

So how does this help you out in life? We’ll once you become consciously aware of why you are doing certain things you can begin to resist people trying to emotionally manipulate you and realize that many decisions you are making are actually due to your emotional state rather than logic. In the short term most people generally do things based on their current emotional state and although this brings short term pleasure it can and will often harm you in the long run.
This isn’t to say don’t trust your emotions however, there are many times where you may chose to go with your intuition, say you get a bad feeling about someone, they rub you the wrong way or just feel like they are hiding something. Often this is your subconcious’s way of telling you it picks up on something they are hiding and feeding it back to you through your emotions and it should be duly noted. This is of prime importance in the business world where it has been witnessed many times of sneaky business men attempting to lure someone into a contract or spending money raising a business based around flawed business models (such as pyramid schemes) by giving them plenty of emotional pleasure with vivid images of huge mansions, luxury yachts and trips around the world, then letting the target know how terrible and painful it would be to work their current job instead of jumping aboard this new bandwagon, often times confusing the target and getting them to sign up to deals based on their emotional state rather than logical decision making.

Don’t go away feeling increased pressure to suppress your emotions today, for they will help you out many times in your life in certain situations. The key is to not simply run on emotions and realize that it’s best to think about a problem logically, then use your emotions (how do you feel about it) and make a decision based on both ways of thinking, which will (provided your not using a balanced amount of emotional and logical thinking) provide you with the correct answer at least 95% of the time.

Have Fun,

– Solace

To recieve more amazing content like this every day Subscribe to our Newsletter for free Instantly. Every day you’ll recieve heaps of amazing content you won’t find anywhere else. Click here to Subscribe Now.

If you enjoyed this post, make sure you subscribe to my RSS feed!

You’re talking to a girl. You want her to be attracted to you. I know! If I’m NICE to her and I show her that I’m a safe comfortable guy to be with, she will like me! Yes that’s logical. I’d like to be with a safe comfortable girl. I like it when people give me shit so I’ll give her shit. This just MAKES SENSE.

I’ll say things to her that MAKE SENSE to me. I’ll say things to her that I will make her think, ‘This guy is awesome, I want his babies. He buys me a lot of stuff and he really seems to CARE about me. He’s got SO MUCH going for him. He has a good job, a career path and I know he can support me… and the kids.’

If any of those above thoughts have run through your minds recently, you’re not in the right frame of mind. Remember what women are attracted to/value: she wants EMOTIONS. All the lines you say, all the body language you do (to a lesser extent, I believe body language is a huge part of this) will not work if you’re not aiming to affect the right things. All of those wont work if you’re not focusing on the right things.

What will most girls say when you ask them why they’re attracted to specific men?

It all basically goes like this, and you can test this too:

shift: Why do you like X?
Lady: He makes me feel x, y, z.

They’re not saying, “I like X because he has x, y, z and he is <job>, all things logical, etc”.

What’s the difference? EMOTION. Guys who make the women feel emotions make the women attracted to them. LOGIC does not attract girls. Guys will logic anything. Look at me even now. I’m using LOGIC to deduce that it’s EMOTION that makes the women attracted. Breaking it down is what we’re good at.

Emotion is what gets a girl attracted to you. Ask any girl why they like a particular guy. The answer will probably start with ‘Well he makes me feel…’ and if it doesn’t (she lists logical things ie. money, whatever), you can follow up with ‘well how does (whatever) make you feel’ and you’ll get a feeling. If a guy doesn’t like a girl for a feeling (ie. wants her for sex), what would be the answer to the second question? ‘She’s good in bed, who cares about the feeling’. This difference along with other social conditioning differences is why I believe so many guys just don’t get it.

Most men have been trained NOT to get it.

To summarise, and to make this article short, NEVER TRY TO LOGIC ANY GIRL. It doesn’t matter if you’re in this game to lay a million girls or to get that one girl that you like. Logic will NEVER work. Make her FEEL right. Create good FEELINGS in her.

Love,
shift

To recieve more amazing content like this every day Subscribe to our Newsletter for free Instantly. Every day you’ll recieve heaps of amazing content you won’t find anywhere else. Click here to Subscribe Now.

If you enjoyed this post, make sure you subscribe to my RSS feed!