Lets Inspire

Why can we never get what we want? I mean it’s just sitting there in front of us, you can pretty much be anything you want… to be buff you go to the gym, to get a girlfriend you just talk to girls, to get money you just work hard (and maybe a bit smart). But for some reason you’d much rather just be watching TV while wafting down packet after packet of corn chips.

Why does this happen? Why is it that we can never see the straight path through the fog? Why do we get so confused over some things other people find so easy to do? It’s just 2 primal instincts we as humans stupidly do due to carrying around an emotional system that’s 50,000 years out of date.

The first is the need for everything NOW. The second is “silver bullet syndrome”, the be all and end all of human nature: feeling we all deserve something for nothing, a magic pill that will cure all our problems without any effort.

Why are we driven by these stupid emotions?

50,000 years ago it was a bad idea to wear ourselves out, for then if we suddenly got sprung on by a sneaky lion looking at us and seeing a giant pork chop we wouldn’t be able to defend ourselves. Thus the human body decided it would be a good idea to create resistance to expending lots of energy getting things done, so we don’t get eaten by lions as much.

This is exactly the reason why it’s so damn hard to just start talking to strangers and women you don’t know. 50,000 years ago if you were to randomly talk to women in the tribe, and the tribal leader didn’t like it, you die. He’ll probably bash you in the head with a rock until you resemble a bloody pulp, then feed you to the lions (sure makes the rejections these days seem pretty bland by comparison)
Your emotions were created 50,000 years ago to save you from lions and crazy cavemen, do you really want to trust them? Of course not!

These emotions are holding you back from your true awesome self man! Once you start Ignoring them and push yourself past them you will take on a whole new level of superiority (sounds cool eh?). No longer are you going to be the underdog taking crap from your friends for not being able to talk to women, and no longer will you be afraid of that scary scary bench-press (just imagine it’s a lion, will make it much easier to tame).

The Secret other Personal Development *Gurus* are Hiding:

There’s a scary secret in the personal development community, average people will probably never discover it, because if they do, half the *gurus* would be out of business:

“Most personal development teachers are trying to remove these bad emotions, help you get over them to lead a more successful life. But this honestly isn’t what’s needed; these emotions pretty much NEVER go away, yes NEVER! Often these personal development coaches haven’t even done what they are preaching themselves, and just hoping that by writing about it they can get over their fear and make a little money on the side.”

For gurus, this is cool, because they know that they can’t actually remove the emotions, and they also know that as long as they keep teaching how to in different ways, people will have a little success. Then they keep buying their books hoping to get more and more success, when they didn’t even need the motivation anyway.

Even 2 Years on I STILL feel fear when going to talk to that next woman, and I’ve talked to well over 600-700 women. This isn’t just me either, I’ve talked with some of the most successful pick up artists and IN THE WORLD and all these guys STILL feel anxiety when first approaching a girl they are interested in.

You DO NOT need to get rid of this fear, instead use it to fuel you to action, If you actually start to feel these bad emotions (and you will, believe me), it means you are growing and becoming a better more successful person, and we all want that.

The act of courage isn’t to not have fear, the biggest and best guys in every field have fear and horrible emotions going haywire when they do what they do. The difference between them and the common chode is that they push through this fear with sheer resolve and courage. With this kick ass level of courage they get stronger, faster, better with women and richer than ever.

I’ve gone through this pain myself, pushing myself to go to the gym, go and talk to that girl, do that extra little bit of business work even though every single emotion in my body is telling me to get the hell away from it and start doing more brain-dead activities, like watching TV.

It is incredibly hard in the beginning yes, but it does get easier! No the negative emotions don’t go away, they are going to stick around till you’re rolling in your grave. Them not going away would be horrible anyway, as everyone has the tendency to un-appreciate things that are easy to acquire, the gratification just isn’t there. Once you do what you really want to over and over and over (ad continuum) for at least 4 weeks you just develop the habit. The Habit is really really cool, because once you get it, you just go on autopilot and fly baby! It almost feels like the emotions don’t even matter anymore, because you just do it anyway.

So am I just talking crap or have I really done this myself?

I’ve been going to the gym for 2 years now to bulk up (I was quite a skinny guy 2 years ago, being 5’8” (173cm) and weighing just 110lb (50kg). I used to go to the gym about 3 times a week, sometimes 4, sometimes only 2 and really worked it around my (what I thought was hectic) schedule. I also crap all, but more than the average person. In that time I noticed I was growing slightly, I got a bit bigger, but overall in about 20 months I gained 26lb or 12KG (which is kind of cool, but still nowhere near good enough).

Fast forward to this year: I’m gym every day for an hour and eat more than ever (including a whole of 4 milkshakes a day…) I’ve now had 5 months of this consistent everyday effort of going even when I didn’t want to (and my body would have much rather me broken my arm then go to the gym). In those 4 months I gained another 14KG and put on a hell of a lot of muscle.

I know what you’re thinking: “Oh My God, 4 months of forcing yourself to go every single day! That’s like torture!” OH IT WAS! Nah kidding. In the beginning I thought exactly the same thing, that it would be like pushing a freight train up a hill. Not True! I noticed after just 1 month of going every single day my brain started to realize that I was dead serious, I wasn’t giving this up. So my brain helped me out, some days I would go “nup not going today” and my brain said back to me “oh yes you are bitch, you’re going to feel so much pain you can’t move!”, and my body would like auto-walk itself to the gym at which point I’d have to do the weights. (Ok maybe an exaggeration but it honestly did feel like autopilot mode).

It’s really really cool when this starts to happen because you don’t need to push yourself much anymore, you just go, you don’t even need to think about it, and you get the results you deserve.
So how does this apply to Women? So many guys fail with women simply because they are not applying themselves consistently. Talking to women once or twice a week is exactly the same as going to the gym once or twice a week, you can get somewhere (very very slowly) but the improvements will only be 10% of the rate you could be going at if only you started talking to people every day.

Thus to greatly accelerate any results you are having, Be Religiously Consistant! By going to the gym and going all out 2-3 days a week, then doing crap all for the other 4-5 days in the week (eating junk, sitting around on the couch eating cheezos) you are only driving yourself backwards. That extra effort you just put in on those gym days was just completely destroyed by being a complete sloth. Don’t do what the majority do because it’s easier, you’re only going to get what the majority of people get, an expensive gym membership with nothing to show for it.

Same goes for women. Don’t feel like talking to that cute girl on the train? Too bad! Do it anyway! In fact I’ll challenge you, whenever you talk to a girl on the train/bus/clubbing etc, email me, and I’ll match it, It’ll be like a little competition (perhaps I may give you a prize or two if you put in extra effort )

Until Next Time,

Have Fun!

– Solace

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Technorati Tags: attraction, Dating, Emotions, health, silver bullet syndrome

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Feeling you need to prove yourself to others is an issue that will definitely hold you back when you’re learning how to become good with women. When you started, you were probably humble (well, you have to be to admit that you need help with women) and you would have gained some success… and then you will start getting less and less results. Why is this?

It isn’t like your skills suddenly disappeared. It’s not like you’ve changed: you are still you. But your expectations have changed. Your criteria for fulfilling the needs of your ego have changed. When you started out, you were probably thinking, “Yeah, I might not be that great with women so I’ll try this stuff out”. So you try it out and get some success… then now you’re thinking, “Yep, I’m good with women. Nothing can stop me now”. That’s where things start to go bad. You won’t open sets because your EGO says you’re good with women and it KNOWS if you try to approach women and they “reject” you (in reality, NO woman that you only just met can EVER reject you), it pimp slaps your ego and tells it the truth: that you might not be as good as you think you are.

Proving yourself CAN be good for your game. Given the right frame of mind, you might do amazingly well. However, most of the time it will really mess your game up. For a while after I started, I was having much more success with women than I EVER had before. This all went to my head and the few weeks after that, I felt like the success I was experience before MUST happen EVERY NIGHT otherwise it meant that it was all only luck and nothing to do with my skill level. Thinking back, ALL I was thinking back when I was having this success was… “I’m having fun, this is fun and I’m going to try these things out to see if they work”.

When I was having the success I wasn’t thinking, “Yeah I better do this or I’ll show to myself (or others around me) that I’m bad with women”. This mentality does not help one bit. Trying to prove yourself to others does not help. So how can we stop ourselves from falling into this ego trap?

Most of the time, I’ve been finding that I do pretty well when I don’t have wings (friends there to help me out with meeting women). I’ve been arriving at venues a little earlier than my wings and I start talking to girls instantly. Why is this? I’m a social person and if I have no one to talk to, I feel itchy. When I have friends around, I spend a lot of the time talking to them, and as I’m talking to them I have less energy or motivation to talk to other people. But it’s also the fact that I feel that I need to prove myself to them. I need to make sure they have respect for me. I’m thinking of what THEY think of me.

Get rid of that mentality. You WILL develop on your own pace. This PRIDE that you develop does not help you one bit. Being humble and accepting that you need to learn this step by step, and knowing that you WILL make mistakes is the way to go. No one will think less of you for it. Everyone will think highly of you. Why? Because you will be improving. You will be doing better than anyone else WATCHING you improve. Anyone else who is GOOD at this stuff knows that you need to go through the learning process: they have all been through it.

Have fun,

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Technorati Tags: ego seperation, feel great, get rid of worry

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There are 7 core traits that every women love in men, and unfortunately 99% of guys don’t know about ANY of them, if you do, we’ll done, you’re a superstar amongst mere mortals.

Applying just one or two of these golden rules will have you with the ability to attract any women you desire, yes even that one you’ve had your eye on for quite some time, they key here is actually doing them, not simply reading then going back to World of Warcraft.

So what do they want?

To Be Approached
Most guys have this weird mental talk inside their heads that tells them “oh she just wants to be left alone, she wouldn’t want to talk to me” Rubbish! All Women desperately want a cool fun guy to just come up to them and sweep them off their feet, and the more guys they talk to, the more chance they have of meeting this perfect guy? Make sense? Good, onto the next rule.

A Strong Man
No I’m not talking about having huge guns. I’m talking about the kind of guy that knows what he wants, can be independent and survive without his girl and can make her feel safe and free from harm. Girls want a man that will make decisions when they are needed and will take care of her when out clubbing together. Coming right along with this is one of the other best traits to have:

Be a Leader
Women love leaders! Whether they be those high up in power, or rock stars leading an entire culture of music. You don’t literally have to be a leader of a group to be thought of as a leader, all you merely have to do is act like one. Take charge of your life, don’t let others push you around and make your own decisions on what you want to do.

A Sexual Beast
Comes without saying that women really do want a *Man* in the bedroom, not some sissy little boy. Placing yourself as the best source of sexual pleasure in a women’s mind is very very powerful. It’s hard to teach sex skills though a book so I’m going to say go ahead and learn the other 9 traits, then once you start getting laid like a rock star (no really you will be), come back and read this tip:

Incredible sex tip literally no guys know about:

Be More Dominant!

Seriously! Try it tonight if you have a girlfriend, or the next time you are with a women, act like the guys in porn movies (well sometimes they do go a bit extreme, don’t actually physically hurt her) and really rock the house, I’m 100% sure you will be very surprised to learn that 99% of women won’t freak out when you throw them against the wall and start making out, she will love it!

A Man with Ambition
Who really wants to date a guy who sits around on the couch watching TV, eating Twinkies all day? Or a World of Warcraft Addict? If you don’t have anything you are currently striving for then start here, you will never get any girl if you have no goals or ambitions in life, oh and aim big; guys that are striving to become a CEO are just as awesome as actual CEO’s.

A Man with A LIFE
If you rarely venture outside the house, get outside now! Do something, explore the world, and have things going on outside of your dating life. You don’t have to be a world professional snowboarder to be appealing, simply have a few hobbies you love, work you enjoy doing and go partying once in a while. A Girl never wants to be the sole center of attention to a man, they want guys who can give them a fun and exciting time, not the other way around. This ties in well with the next incredibly appealing trait:

Someone Fun!
Get out there, have some fun, go clubbing and make new friends, don’t go play soccer if you have no interest at all, but do find things that do interest you that you can meet new people at, even if it’s a gardening club, be interesting and do interesting things and you will forever have a plentiful supply of women who want to join your fun and eventful life.

There are 3 more very advanced ways to get girls lusting over you within just minutes of meeting you, as well as far more in depth knowledge on the above 7 traits in the free ebook, if you feel you’re ready for very advanced training (and please don’t download it if you’re not, you might get a bit freaked out), then go ahead and enter your name and email on the right and start reading and becoming *The Man*

Cheers,

– Solace
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Are you dating women in order to bring them more happiness and joy? Or mainly to bring yourself more happiness and joy? If it’s the latter, it’s going to be a tough uphill struggle. If perhaps its not for your own happiness and joy, but rather an attempt to satisfy your ego, then you’re setting off on the wrong path from the very start.

Many men learn how to get better with women in order to fill a black hole they feel inside themselves. Generally it’s an in-balance in other areas of their life, perhaps they don’t have as many friends as they would like, or they don’t get enough love and care from their parents. If you’re a guy like this, who feels incomplete at the moment, you’re going to need to plug this hole. Women desire a guy who’s life is complete without them, they want a guy who is stable, strong and does not need anything from them. If you ever feel you need something from a girl (whether that be sex, love and care, or more excitement), you’re not where you should be, for you won’t get very far if you need something from them. If you feel you want women in order to give them a better, more exciting life then you’re coming from the right location and going to go far.

Perhaps you just want to be better with women to show off to your mates how cool you are. This is a common occurrence I see in a lot of guys, they simply want validation from their friends that they are a cool guy, not some chode. Yet this validation is destructive in nature, for when you get that little ego boost, your ego becomes stronger, more powerful and in need of more and more validation. After a while when you start making out with girls in a club, eventually bringing some of them home, you will start to get ego inflation.

You can imagine ego inflation like filling a balloon. As you add more and more air to a balloon it expands, just like your ego as you receive more and more validation. But what happens when you remove some of that water again, say one hot girl isn’t interested in you and you don’t get the validation that your a cool fun guy? We’ll, the balloon contracts again and you feel that ping of loss, then you start to feel down and upset. Your game starts to suffer because of this ego deflation from the next girl seeing your deflated state and rejecting you, and so the vicious cycle continues.

It also starts to happen when you first go out for a night, if your ego is inflated you often feel you must do good this night, however due to the random nature of women this is rarely the case. As soon as the first girl rejects you, your night starts going bad, and you start the downhill roll.

This constant need to validation will continue forever unless you make a change to the way you see the world, for even the best guys with women will have some women not like them, its simply the nature of the game, and it ruins your night even more when you get to that level because you’re simply not used to being rejected or have a girl not like you.

Now if we remove the ego from the equation and start to meet women in order to provide them with a fun night out rather than satisfy your own desire for validation, you start to see that although you don’t get those slight emotional boosts, your skills constantly improve and you will gain enjoyment just being around women and having an exciting time with them. If you are there in order to impress girls and get them to respond to you, you won’t have nearly as much fun as if you are there to give them an amazing night out. Women with all their amazing intuition can also pick up on this, they know when you want to give them some entertainment, or if you’re there to simply receive validation and satisfy your own ego.

You’ll often find your friends are just as much validation seekers as you are. They also want to be thought of as cool, fun guys. Hence why they all group together in their own little secret society when out clubbing, instead of talking to the many beautiful girls all around them. Guys try and gain validation from other guys, even the leaders want their friends to laugh when they tell jokes and respond in different ways to different stimulus. So try acting differently around them next time you see them and observe what they do. If you start reacting differently (in fact not reacting at all is best), you will notice a shift in them as they try harder and harder to seek validation and response from you. Of course there are some guys out there who are so secure in themselves that they don’t seek or need validation and if you have friends like that, keep them, for they will be the ones who don’t put you down, or turn against you in order to satisfy their own ego.

Guys who don’t need validation are few and far between, women already know and can feel this. To silence your ego and turn off validation seeking requires hard work but the rewards are far worth it. Not only will you be able to freely talk to women at any time, anywhere and not care about rejection or humiliation, you will be free from needing to always look cool and be on top of your game, for it really doesn’t matter.To recieve more amazing content like this every day Subscribe to our Newsletter for free Instantly. Every day you’ll recieve heaps of amazing content you won’t find anywhere else. Click here to Subscribe Now.

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Your ego is both inspiring and full of deceit, on the surface it appears to be helping you, it gives you small boosts of gratification when you succeed and that helps keep you going, however on the flip side it is also one of the biggest hindrances you will face in life. You see your ego just wants you to be safe, to have fun and to be the best, however what it doesn’t realize is that failure can be a good thing. In fact, your ego hates failure, it loathes nothing more, and this is where most people go wrong in their career, health and relationships.

Your ego hates failure so much that it puts up protective barriers against it, it makes you feel bad when you aren’t the best looking, smartest, most charming guy around. It is the reason why fat people hate going to the gym, often the fear of other people judging them and their ego being damaged because of that holds them back from going. It is also the reason many weightlifters lift heavier weights than they should, they get an ego boost from these bigger weights and feel good because of it, even if they are damaging their body when they can’t lift them with the right form.

Consequently this also applies to attracting women, your ego doesn’t like you failing, being rejected or making a fool of yourself, so you play it safe, you do safe things that nobody around will see or notice, and you try to blend in with all the other chodes picking up women. You Never rise above the rest because your ego tells you public humiliation is bad.

To separate yourself from your ego is a liberating experience, you can freely do what you like without worrying about prejudice, about others judging what you do, about girls or guys thinking bad about you for screwing up. In fact, if you dump your ego entirely you will see massive gains in every area of life, for you will no longer be trying to pick up women to prove to your friends how much of a cool dude you are, but rather talking to women to give them a fun night out and amuse yourself, not impress others.

So how do you go about removing this ego? We’ll for a start over the next week keep listening to your thoughts, if you catch yourself thinking about whether someone else likes you or not stop! Just cut that thought out and attempt to never think it again. If you catch yourself comparing yourself to others then stop! don’t ever think like that, and if you ever think of doing something then think “no maybe x will think I’m stupid”, ignore that thought and do it anyway.

Separating yourself from your ego means separating yourself from comparisons with others, don’t compare how many girls you’ve had/muscle size/your salary to other guys, don’t care about what others think of you, and especially don’t stop doing what you want to do because someone else may not like it.

It’s hard because we’ve been brought up a society that values comparisons, we have charts and graphs showing school performances, we have IQ tests, we have salaries for various jobs and comparisons between multiple positions. In fact most of many people’s existences is based around comparing themselves to others and only feeling good when they are better than other people. If you ever feel good because you’re better at something than someone else, stop it! Everyone always has someone better and worse than them, and comparing yourself to others will only deter you from your real goals.

Set goals for yourself, and don’t build them upon what others have done Every person is unique and has their own take on life. Do what you want to do, if getting to 60KG from 50KG is your goal, awesome, that’s a great goal, if your goal is to be bigger than the kid down the road its not so great. Others can still serve as inspiration of course (I know I want to be as big as Arnie someday), but don’t feel let down if you’re not there yet, just keep going, working on that goal and continue getting there. Negative emotions from not bulking up or loosing fat fast enough will only deter you from what you really want and when you hit a plateau your ego will probably put you off all-together.

Your ego can keep you going when the going is easy, but that’s all it will do. For when you hit a stale point your ego will feel the drain from lack of success and cause you to give up hope, even if you are only 10% away from your goal. When the going gets tough you need to learn to put your ego aside and be able to tap into your intelligence, which will help you get over those speed-bumps in life and be the man you really want to be.

Your ego is based on emotions, not logic, hence why it is so hard to control. But you will realize over time that it becomes easier and easier the more you ignore it when it’s holding you back and start using your logic and intelligence instead. The question is, do you want instant ego satisfying gratification, or to endure a slight bit of ego pain for huge lifelong improvements?
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Do you care about what other people think of you? Are you concerned that some people don’t like you? Do you hang on to what other people say, hoping that they might say something good about you and dreading if they say something bad about you? Thinking in this mindset is holding you back in more ways than you can imagine.

This self concious thinking is a fairly common problem with just about everyone. In a social society, other people’s thoughts are important. Thinking about what other people think of you has many benefits: you won’t tread on anyone’s toes or get on their bad sides, you can tell whether they like you or don’t like you and calibrate accordingly, and you can tell when you are welcome or not welcome in a group. However, this can be something that really harms your game if other people’s opinions of you becomes a major factor in how you behave.

Our ability to imagine what other people’s mind states or thoughts are is a natural ability which psychologists have termed, ‘Theory of Mind’. ToM is a basic ability in us to anticipate what other people’s thoughts are, as other people obviously think differently to us. Without knowing or having an idea of what other people are thinking about, social interactions can turn awkward – for example, if you weren’t part of a social group who’s norms frowned upon discussion of deodorant, and you discussed deodorant, then this may cause tension in the group.

ToM develops very early in life. The ability starts appearing around the age of 3. A simple task to test the ToM is to show a toddler a series of events or a scenario: In the scenario, person A has a box of lollies. He replaces the lollies with pencils (the toddler sees all of this). Then person A leaves the box in the room and person B enters. The toddler is asked what person B thinks is inside the box. Without ToM, the toddler would assume that person B thought exactly the same thing as them: that the box contained pencils, even though person B would not have known that person A replaced the lollies with pencils. After the development of ToM, the toddler is able to ‘figure out’ that person B doesn’t know about the shifty switch and thus answers the question correctly.

The condition in which ToM is impaired in a person is called Autism, or the ‘high functioning’ version of it, Asperger’s syndrome. ToM never develops in these people (though they may learn logical routes/heuristics to figure out basic rules). Social interaction is incredibly difficult for these people and you should be glad that you were born with a working ToM.

Many people let their capacity to estimate what other people think of them overpower their thoughts. They are constantly wondering if the other people like them, whether what they say is going to have an effect on what the person thinks of them, or whether they should take a risk and make a move, or just hope that everything goes well. In fact, they’re thinking about what others think of them so much that their mental capacities for language are used up and they have nothing to say.

They start really analysing the situation, using their incredible capacity of ToM to bring up a million different ways in which people might react negatively to their approach or their words. The focus of their thoughts is in finding ways in which they might be rejected and as a result, they are less inclined to approach or push the line.

This is also related to the amount of emotional investment in which they put into what other people think of them. Obviously, the more emotional investment there is into what other people think of you, the more it matters. This is the first thing that needs to be changed. Why put so much emotional investment in what other people think? Especially if it’s just someone you just met.

Emotional investment into the outcome of the interaction is also something that will determine whether you watch your words or not. When you’re invested into whether you get the girl’s number/kiss her/take her home, you’re guarding your words so that nothing wrong comes out. In the process of this, you’re restricting yourself: being free and putting your personality on the line is incredibly attractive to a girl and you’re stopping yourself from really expressing yourself.

When you remove emotional investment from the interaction, you can start to use your ToM effectively. You can calibrate to the situation and determine what the best possible routes and tactics to take are. Your intuitive abilities to tell you when to take the interaction to the next level will be honed into great weapons of escalation. Taking the emotional investment from the interaction also has another benefit of shifting the focus of the interaction into a ‘building your skills’ mindset. Instead of focusing on rejection (I’m doing my best so that this girl will like me), you’re focused on your skills (I’ll test this out, if it doesn’t work then I’ll fix it).

Use your ToM so that it is beneficial to your game. Remove your emotional investments from the interaction: you’re working on your skill set and you’re going to make mistakes. Your ability to use ToM is a tool that can help you succeed, and it shouldn’t be a handicap that takes over your mind

<3
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One of the most important part of dealing with women and becoming the best person you can be is developing your “inner game”. Inner game is encompasses a wide variety of things: your mindsets, how you react to think, thought processes, to name a few. You will probably read a lot of things written by other experienced pimp soldiers trying to explain to you what their current mindsets are and what goes through their heads but unless you have experience with the topic, you probably will have a difficult time trying to understand what the writer is going on about.

So you read all this material. Be unreactive. Girls are plentiful. Be your core, your self and don’t give a damn what anyone else thinks of you. You feel good because you think after you’ve read that material that you’ve developed good inner game and nothing can shake your solid base. Then one girl doesn’t open well. Another girl gives you a death stare as you approach. If you’re strong enough, you continue on to your third or fourth approach. All with the same results. You start crumbling inside. What happened? You cry to yourself, “I thought my inner game was strong enough for this!”.

Inner game isn’t something that you can magic up out of thin air, or from hours of reading. It isn’t a logical entity that you can just read about and develop. The concepts of inner game were developed from people who had experience with women and life in general. They had approached and dealt with so many women that an abundance mentality is cemented in their minds. So many people had rejected their approaches already that they just don’t care what other people think of them. These concepts were borne through people with vast amounts of experience and passed down to people without the experience, so that they could benefit from other’s work.

However, to know what these concepts really mean, you need an emotional understanding of the concepts, and this is gained from hours and hours of field experience. When you first start approaching women (after spending hours studying material), you logically understand that approaching women is really nothing and that you’re not going to die, but your emotional circuitry kicks and screams at you to not approach because you might get hurt. You’re strong and you approach anyway, and after a few approaches your emotional brain ‘catches up’ to your logic and starts realising that approaching won’t hurt you. After a while, you fully understand the inner game concept that approaching is easy. This goes with every other concept. This is the way you start to really understand things.

If you want to build your muscles, you have to exercise and push them to their limits. Socialising, inner strength and all of the concepts discussed regarding women, they’re all written there for you to get started. But to get really good and to really understand the material, you need to get out and experience it. Take a risk and approach that woman. Lead her around confidently and take your rejections in stride. Every rejection gets you closer to your goal. Every rejection makes you stronger and more calibrated. With every rejection, you learn what not to do and your social skills improve.

See you on the field,

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So you want to know why you just abused that guy in the car in front of you within a split second without logic coming in to play? Perhaps you want to know why you are attracted to certain men/women and not others? Or even why your dog does the crazy things he does? It all comes down to the three brain theory, explaining why we humans are the most evolved species on this planet yet still sometimes act like lizards and why we still make irrational decisions when we’re in love, then think they are completely logical.

The three brain theory is a theory created in order to realize why we do the things we do, even though they often seem completely illogical at times. The premise of the theory is that human brains have not simply evolved to the next level from our animal ancestors, but instead simply built more evolved brains on top of each other. The first brain is the physical brain, this is essentially the fight or flight response found in everything from ants to lizards to humans, basically your most basic core survival mechanisms: surviving and replicating. The second brain is the emotional brain, it is found in most mammals and allows us to emotionally connect to things and do more than simply having fight or flight responses. The emotional brain is found in everything from cats and dogs to other larger brained mammals such as cows and horses. Of course these brains are common and illogical, most of us hardly even know how they work and how they make us to stupid illogical things from time to time. Now the third brain is the brain that only humans on this planet completely have (apes and our close ancestors have very small versions) and is what really separates us from the animals, it is the logical brain. The logical brain is the most understood brain as it is often thought of as the most important and does most of our thinking. However what most people don’t know is that the other 2 brains are actually more powerful and a lot of the time make our decisions for us rather than the logical brain, then simply through the process of backwards rationalization they make us feel as if we had made a logical decision.

These three brains conflict in our daily lives, and by default, without a lot of effort put in controlling yourself, the most primitive brain always wins. This is the reason why we often fly off the hook yelling at people when we feel threatened without even thinking about it. It is also why we often make silly decisions chasing the love of our life by doing things which don’t make any logical sense but make a hell of a lot of sense to the emotional brain. I often equate them as having 3 different people inside your head telling you different things all the time, however they tell you things in vastly different ways. The emotional brain reports information back to you through your gut feeling, whether you feel happy, sad, anxious etc, it is your emotional brain telling you it think something is good or bad with your current situation. Your physical brain reports back to you through fear mainly, its duty is to keep you protected from harm so whenever it senses danger it freezes us up or tells us to run away. The physical brain is also what controls our sexual impulses and desires, and is why we so often get completely distracted when we see an attractive member of the opposite sex, thats our mating instinct kicking in from our physical brain.

You’ll also encounter events where it doesn’t make any logical sense to be afraid however your emotional and physical brains make you scared anyway, generally these are events where thousands of years ago when your physical and emotional brains started being created it would make sense to be afraid, but these days we have safety measures to stop you from harm. Such things include going parachuting, working at a construction site up very high or approaching a girl in a club. In the past being up high off the ground meant you had to cling on for dear life or you were going to die, these days with all our safety equipment this isn’t the case but our physical brain doesn’t realize this and tries to keep you alive by any means possible (generally by making you cling on for dear life).

So how does this help us? We’ll now realizing that we have 3 brains that are essentially totally different people living inside our heads we can learn to tame these brains. Unfortunately most people go about this in the wrong way. They don’t realize there are 3 brains and when their physical or emotional brain tells them to do something, they completely shut off their logical brain and simply follow its orders, thinking they are following logic when they really aren’t. This is why you often observe others doing the strangest things (hurling abuse at the television anyone?) and if you ever question them on it they get really defensive, then later on in the day look back on what they did and sometimes see it in a new light and see where they went wrong and how stupid they looked (when their logical brain comes back online). So the key to managing your other 2 brains is to realize that your logical brain often does switch off when certain events happen and you must switch it back on (by thinking rationally and taking into account everything everyone is telling you without defenses) and think about the situation that just happened.

Once you have turned it back on you can also begin to train your other brains to respond differently, stop your other brains from taking over when a situation occurs and think about what your doing then try to change it to doing something else. Like when I visit my parents I notice how often they get angry when watching the football and someone drops the ball or does something stupid, while I laugh at exactly the same event. Its not that I don’t think its bad play, I’ve just come to realize that its only a game and not worth getting angry over and have over time trained my emotional brain to think in the same way.

Of course you can’t train your brain overnight, it will take time, simply whenever an event occurs, realize its your emotional or physical brain taking over and stop it in your tracks, then think rationally (is it really worth me getting angry over this) and take steps to replace those bad emotions with better ones. Over time your emotional and physical brains will start behaving themselves just like naughty children now being given strict guidelines, and they will allow you to live a much happier and more enjoyable life.

Have fun,

– Solace

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Humans have been breeding since… well, since the time where our ancestors popped one of us out that could be classified as a human really. All of us are the by product of breeding. All of your ancestors were successful in reproducing. You carry genes that have been passed down from parent to child throughout the generations.

What does all this mean? Well, two of the most agreed upon goals of life for any organism is the goal to survive and the goal to replicate or reproduce. These two goals, biologically, are the core purpose of any organism. To continue on the species down our family lines and to spread our genes is a biological success.

Getting down to the basics, there is two ways a person determines if another person is a good person to mate with. Firstly, the person is preferably of the opposite sex (now of course this only explains male to female and vice versa attraction). The person has to have reproductive value for the other, namely, mating with the person will provide the chance of having a baby that has good genes (namely, genes that will help the child survive and replicate). Secondly, a person has to have good survival value. The person is healthy and has qualities about them that continue their survival and they provide their partner and offspring provisions so that they survive and replicate more.

In most cases, females have a higher reproductive value than we do. Females will always have a guy that wants to reproduce with them. Rarely will you see a female without a single guy that will desire them. Even ugly girls, if they went out and offered sex freely could get laid. Getting laid simply isn’t a hard thing for girls to do. Guys hand out sex on a platter to almost all women and therefore the reproductive value of most guys is well, nothing. Unless you have good genes that help your offspring survive and replicate more. I’ll get to this point later, after I explain survival value.

Males however have more survival value. As social creatures we band together in groups. It may sound cliche, but in almost all times in history, the men would go and provide for the family while the women would tend at home. Men are simply built more for hunting and physical work. The men would look after the women and children and thus provide survival value. Nowadays, women can survive on their own. Times have changed and the need to find a male to survive is gone. Also, in this day and age, men are becoming boys and have less and less survival AND replication value.

Now I’m painting a bleak view of the world and you better believe it. In terms of the game of sex, women obviously have the advantage over a vast majority of men. But there is hope. There is a select, small group of men that women like to breed with, men that they go crazy after. These men have the qualities that invoke deep emotions in the women, emotions that were developed through millions of years of evolution. The emotions are telling the women to reproduce with these men because the men display the qualities that genetically have been extremely successful in both survival and replication. Who are these men?

The alpha males. Alpha males are the leaders, the ones with authority and power over a social group and also the ones who have the most part in determining whether the group survives or dies. The alpha males are on the top of the social hierarchy and other males will usually rank themselves down (though this is not entirely conscious). To lead the group, the alpha male has to have important qualities to them. The ability to make decisions, gain trust, have at least respect and even admiration of the group, among other attributes are needed. So why are they so damn attractive to women?

Before the development of society, humans lived in tribes or small groups. The alpha males, being the leader would have the pick of the women to breed with. He would also be well looked after by his followers and this care would extend to his multiple partners and offspring. It would in fact be advantageous for a woman to attempt to breed with the alpha male due to the protection and extra care they and their offspring would gain from the venture. The children of the alpha males would also have qualities of their fathers and these would be the qualities that put him in the position in the first place. Being a child of the alpha, there would be increased chance for the child to become the alpha themselves and have the same opportunities to pass on the genes. The alpha males were ultimately attractive for their survival and replication value.

What about the beta males? Beta males get laid purely on survival value. That is, they have the capacity for looking after the female and their young, they have relatively good genes, and they are safe in that they don’t have as much choice in partners as the alpha males and thus would be more stable in their relationships (and looking after the young). Also, coupled with the fact that there are far more beta males than alpha males, and that the alphas might not want to bump uglies with all the women, statistically and out of necessity, women will still mate with betas. The woman still has the drive to reproduce and when the best is not available, they may settle for less.

So what would be the point of me giving you this bleak (if you’re not an alpha) sounding history lesson? Well, the good news is that as humans, we are intelligent creatures. Well, most of us are anyway, and if you’re reading this at the moment you most definitely have the amount of intelligence needed to understand what I’m going to tell you next.

We’re intelligent creatures and with the invention of language and society, a new era of sexual science had emerged. Our groups became too big and alphas became more dispersed. People could learn and pass on information. People passed on their ideas of attraction and seduction. Previously beta males could learn to become alphas through altering their behaviour, which was also an outcome of intelligence.

Even though our intelligence has developed tremendously in the last however many thousand years of evolution, our emotional brains, having been highly developed through millions of years of hard testing, haven’t changed much at all. This includes the base instincts in females to respond to alpha males and in particularly the qualities that an alpha male possesses. We are able to consciously study and alter behaviour as we wish. If we put in the hard work, we can change our behaviour to fit the blueprints of an alpha male. With verbal communication, we can convey information that denotes us as alpha males.

This is just the next step in our evolution. Women wear makeup, dye their hair, do their nails and have cosmetic surgery to accent and alter their physical attributes to highlight and maximise their attractive qualities. Fortunately, for us males, we only really need to learn to display certain attributes. As a final aside, it is important to remember that evolutionarily, there was no need for verbal game. Our non verbals are much more important than what we say and keeping this in mind will help you immensely through your journey.To recieve more amazing content like this every day Subscribe to our Newsletter for free Instantly. Every day you’ll recieve heaps of amazing content you won’t find anywhere else. Click here to Subscribe Now.

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One of the things I often hear when talking to others about attraction and gaming women is that “there is no one way to seduce a girl, because every girl is different”. The thing is, this more often than not comes from someone with very little experience with women. There is some truth to the statement of course, every girl does act slightly differently and throws up a few different challenges. That’s just like driving a car on different roads, of course all roads are going to have different twists and turns, different speed limits and different obstacles jumping out at you, however, the act of driving the car is done nearly exactly the same every single time.

In fact there are a lot of similarities with driving a car and picking up a girl, you start off in the low gears, first gear being the your opening words and initial conversation starter. After a few seconds you throw it into second gear, playing some games, revving up the excitement and having fun together. You bring her into third gear and amp up the sexual tension, this is the gear that takes you from the quick burst of fun into cruising mode. You hit it into fourth and you being just being comfortable around each other, keeping it in fourth to make it around the twists and bends until finally when you hit that straight you gently bump it into 5th and really being to take in the view and the wonders that are women (or driving ).

Now apparently all girls are different, however as you will discover after doing hundreds of sets, patterns start to emerge and somehow you can see into the future of where the girl is headed with the conversation or how she is feeling at that particular moment, just as if your looking at the road ahead of you and preparing for that next bend. After a while you also begin developing subconscious built in responses to common situations just like changing from first to second gear in a car and swerve to avoid little sticks lying on the road. Remember how when you first began driving and you stalled the car as soon as you tried to take off? Or just pulling out of the parking lot you failed to put it into second and again stalled the car? In those days it took a huge amount of concentration just to get the car to third gear and get going, now however you can drive fine without even thinking about it. This is just like talking to women and interacting in social situations in general. You start to unconsciously react to events without even thinking about them and start being able to handle situations well that most guys would simply walk away from.

Unfortunately most guys seem to be afraid to drive the highways of love, instead choosing to ride their pushbike or even walk, hoping that a random stranger will come give them a lift (an easy lay or girlfriend) which happens every once in a while but really doesn’t get you where you would like to go. Thinking in this way will only get you more frustrated and annoyed then ever before, because your spending as much time in the field as the PUA guys, and your getting little to no results from it.

Taking this new realization that all women are the same under your wing is one of the first steps to realizing that the game isn’t as difficult as many make it out to be. It’s simply that you just don’t have it right yet, the great thing is, once you learn what to do and when to do it it’s all downhill from there. Learning new things as well as dealing with new and unique women takes as little effort as driving on a new road you’ve never been on before.

So why is it that women on the outside appear to be completely different and unique however once you delve deeper they are all quite alike? The primary reason is that women are emotional creatures (well humans as a whole are however women are a lot more emotional than men), they feel the world and feed it back to themselves through their emotions. This is why often when you ask a women to describe why they like a guy they explain that they feel x about him not that they think logical things about him. As with the three brain theory the emotional mind overrules the logical mind especially when attracting a girl and as such girls react in quite similar ways when treated the same way.

This also comes back to backwards rationalization of what they want to do. Because women are emotionally the same but logically different, they will feel the exact same emotions as each other for different things, then backwards rationalize these emotions each to their own unique logical thoughts. This is why on the surface it appears as though all women respond differently and act differently to various things because they logically look like they are, but they are all feeling the same emotions deep inside.

Now that you’ve come to realize that the more effort you put in, the more you will be able to attract women no matter who they are, get out there and practice and above all, just have fun with it. Learn to drive that car and keep learning, observing and improving on your past approaches, continually shifting gears and getting results. Just get out there and have fun.

Have Fun,

– SolaceTo recieve more amazing content like this every day Subscribe to our Newsletter for free Instantly. Every day you’ll recieve heaps of amazing content you won’t find anywhere else. Click here to Subscribe Now.

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