Push the limits
October 2nd, 2008
Do you often hesitate when going to kiss a girl, simply because your afraid of losing her? Do you ever keep your distance from women because you don’t know if you should? Do you hold yourself back from funny remarks because you’re not sure if she’ll like it? You’re making one of the worst mistakes you can possibly make.
I’ve been there before and seen so many other guys go through the same horrible phase, where they start off by discovering pickup, then go out and try a few cool lines and get a few giggles… however that’s generally where it ends, and the problem isn’t not knowing what to do next, because I’m pretty sure you and most other guys know roughly what to do. The problem is so many guys hold themselves back because they are just too damn afraid of losing the girl.
From an initial perspective it looks like the right thing to do right? Play it safe so you don’t lose the girl? The truth is you are a lot more likely to lose a girl due to being too timid than being too aggressive. Why? Because women want a real man who can lead the interaction and sweep her off her feet, if you’re sitting around talking about nothing for 2 hours straight without even so much as a kiss, she’s going to start looking for someone with more balls who can give her the fun she truly desires.
If you aren’t constantly escalating physically (going from light touching, to holding hands/arm around waist, to kissing, to heavy make out, to taking her home and having sex) she’s going to think either you’re not interested, or you haven’t got enough balls to do anything further, both of which have a bad outcome for you.
The other even more significant problem is, if you don’t push yourself to be better and try new things every time you go out your learning is going to be very very slow. The only times you learn new things is when you *surprise surprise* do something new!
But what if she’s your perfect girl? Wouldn’t you want to take it slow so you don’t lose her?
NO! We’ll ok there’s slow, and then there’s slowwww, most guys do the latter… It’s ok to take a few hours and have a date or two between kissing and sex, but if you’re waiting around for an hour before even TOUCHING her or have been on a few dates without even so much as a kiss, she’s going to be walking (especially if she’s a hot woman with options).
When starting out your goal should not be to find your perfect girl, because chances are, if you aren’t good enough you ain’t going to be able to keep her (of course this depends, if she is your perfect girl intellectually it may be a different case, but 99% of guys I know who say they met their “perfect girl” in their first few months of clubbing usually just like her because she’s hot, or because its the first girl they’ve had who likes them back in a long time). When you start out your goal should be to learn and improve yourself to a point where you are attractive to most women, it doesn’t mean don’t date anyone, do that if you wish, but go out each night with the intention of pushing every conversation and interaction with women you have to the limits.
By Pushing the interaction I mean throwing your ego aside and doing things you’d normally never do. Things such as:
- Being more overtly sexual
- Approaching in different ways (being very direct and telling her she’s hot vs being subtle and asking an opinion vs just being friendly)
- Being louder and more energetic
- Saying things you’ve never said before that may push the limits of normal social conversation
If you go out every night and don’t do anything new, if you just be your normal self and don’t push the interaction you’re going to learn incredilby slowly. When you finally do come across a girl you really like, you won’t know what to do, where the conversation boundaries are, how to calibrate to her giving different tests and so on, in turn, losing the girl.
Remember that the goal here (speaking for 95% of guys) is not to try and have a perfect date or interaction with every single girl we meet while out sarging. The goal is to have the right attitude, vibe and skills so that when you do meet an amazing girl, you can keep her.
By holding yourself back you’re only delaying the learning process. How can you possibly know what her limits are and what she likes and doesn’t like if you never experiment, try new things out and push your comfort zone?
Would you much rather get along with every woman you meet (90% of which won’t even remember you in clubs/bars), but struggle to attract the girls you really want? or get rejected by a few women to learn and improve yourself so in time you can be with any girl you desire?
When I think about it nearly every single learning or growth experience I’ve had in my life has been when I’ve pushed myself to the limit and gone way out of my normal comfort zone. I’ve also noticed some of the most fun nights out have been when I’m completely in the zone of not caring and just doing what I want, without giving a damn what the woman I’m with thinks.
There are so many times I’ve done crazy wacko things which I was sure wouldn’t work and amazingly, they did! (Like being overtly sexual, pulling a girls hair, dirty dancing on the dance floor) it’s amazing how many things I’ve always thought “will never work” from social conditioning, yet work so well, and I never would have found out unless I went outside and just tried it.
I’ve been blown out, called horrible words, been slapped, the lot, and you know what? It’s all worth it. Just finding the sweet spot and being sexually calibrated, knowing when and where to say certain things, when you should put your arm around her, when you should go for the kiss, when you should be inviting her back to your place etc puts you above 99% of guys out there… seriously, most guys never learn this simply because they are too scared to get rejected.
What would you rather? Going through life like an average guy getting average results, or spending 2-3 months of getting blown out and rejected by girls only to be a better man than 99% of guys for the rest of your life?To recieve more amazing content like this every day Subscribe to our Newsletter for free Instantly. Every day you’ll recieve heaps of amazing content you won’t find anywhere else. Click here to Subscribe Now.
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Lets Inspire is Evolving!
September 27th, 2008
Over the past few months I’ve taken a break from Lets Inspire focusing on other business activities. I’ve also thrown myself into Seduction / Pick Up more intense than ever before and realized: I don’t want to write
the normal newbie dating info anymore.
Lets Inspire to me means inspired growth, constant improvement and continual evolution of ourselves in dating, personal development and life. Not about quick rewrites of generic worthless content to appeal to the lowest common demoninator.
I no longer want to write purely from a business perspective, as writing rehashed junk info to make a quick buck just doesn’t have any appeal to me. If that scares some newbies away who just want the basics of pickup, so be it, there are thousands of others sources to get basic dating info from. From now on I’m going to pursue the cutting edge of pickup, the latest theories, techniques and info to help take your game further than ever before and make you the most fun, attractive guy possible, the kind of guy every woman dreams of being with.
I aim to always be learning and as I learn new things give this information to you to learn from, apply and help refine, we’ll work together to make ourselves the best we can be. I’m not going to be holding anything back and giving out everything I learn and come across as it happens.
I See soo much potential for growth in the pickup community! There is still so much to learn and explore. The problem is 95% of teachers are just repeating what others have said to make a few quick sales, and as such we’re evolving at a much slower pace than we could be.
Lets Inspire is about taking charge and pathing the way to the discovery and creationg of new strategies, theories and techniques no one has yet thought of or worked with. Lets Inspire won’t be about repeating what others have said before but forging new ground, creating and experimenting with up to the second new technologies.
It will also be a place where the best of the best come to hang out and throw ideas out there to work with and build upon. I see a bright future ahead for the pickup community, there may be many haters, many guys and girls who think you should just be how you’ve always been and never grow to be a better person, but I’m 100% committed to being the best man I can be and constantly pushing myself to new heights. If you want to stagnate and live a *normal* life you’ll have to seek help elsewhere.
The one thing to remember is there is always room for improvement, you should always be evolving and changing. Just like some of the best guys out there (I’ll be posting a link to all the best Pickup resources in hte coming days) every few months I’ll be pulling my game apart and rebuilding it from scratch to take it to the next level.
It’s very crushing to the ego to be doing this, throwing away everything you’ve worked for and rebuilding from scratch. But in the constant pursuit of growth it is neccessary and by leaving your ego at the door you’re going to get a lot more out of Lets Inspire than anyone else.
I present this information to you as a student of pickup, not as your teacher or guru, for I find when one labels themself as a guru it becomes a case of “I’ve finished growing so I’m going to stop learning and just teach everything I know over and over”. With the majority of gurus or teachers I see they never evolve their game, they get so wrapped up forming an identity around their teachings that they never move on even when there are better, more practical, more hard hitting powerful techniques being created all around them.
Lets Inspire is about inspiring guys to be the best they can be and giving them the tools and information they need to always be improving their game. It’s about Deep, Truthful, Powerful growth as a PUA, a Friend and a fellow Human Being.
Most of all, I believe Pickup should always be coming from a point of love and giving, wanting to be the man every girl desires, never trying to be manipulative or selfish in your desires. Thus everything I write will be coming from a place of love and being win win for both you and every girl that comes into your life.
I hope you’ll join me in reaching for the stars and working towards being the guy every woman desires.To recieve more amazing content like this every day Subscribe to our Newsletter for free Instantly. Every day you’ll recieve heaps of amazing content you won’t find anywhere else. Click here to Subscribe Now.
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Everyone’s A Drug Addict
July 6th, 2008
So you think you’re drug free huh? You’ve never touched the stuff cause it’s “bad for you”. Little do you know you’re addicted to the most potent drug ever known, the drug that has been slowly killing more and more people over the past hundred years. Slowly and carefully it infects you, like a toxic gas seeping into your mind, until it’s too late and you realize you can’t do a damn thing about it, just like everyone else.
You’ve been hit with the worst drug society has ever known: the stuff drug. Have you ever wanted a bigger house, faster car, better paying job? Little do you know you’re being controlled by the stuff drug, the kind of drug that has been woven through society over the past 50 years.
You may call it keeping up with the joneses, living a life of prestige, or just a wanting to look important amongst your friends. It all means the same thing, an addiction to the material world. Just like a drug you are constantly told “to be happy you NEED me” by your possessions. Soon enough you’re upgrading your car, getting a new couch, buying one of those high tech vacuum cleaners with 10,000 joules of floor sucking power, just like an addict stuffing more heroin into his veins.
What would happen if all your possessions went away? What if tomorrow you woke up and everything you own was gone, your house, your car, your furniture, your pc and all your appliances. Will you feel lost, helpless or in pain? Most people would, because they, just like the guy doing lines of coke at your local minibar, are hopeless addicts. Slaves to their possessions which seem to define them far more than the other way around.
Sure you may say drugs inflict the mind, they control you, unlike stuff. The question is, what difference is there between spending thousands every year on appliances you don’t need versus spending all you’re hard earned money on cocaine, there really isn’t that much, everyone is simply looking to get enough money for their next fix.
Do these inanimate objects you collect really fulfill you; do they bring you hope and joy? Or do they simply provide some short term satisfaction until you can get your next Plasma TV with 15 more inches and twice as many pixels?
Is the answer to get rid of everything you own? Of course not. You don’t have to be an 87 year old monk to be spiritually enlightened. You simply need to take a look at your life and notice the trends; do you really need all the stuff you have? Do you consider it a part of your identity and if you were to lose it, it would be like losing a part of yourself? Only the most egocentric allow themselves to be defined by what they own, as opposed to what they are.
Perhaps it’s time to make a change in your life, or you can continue chasing your next fix if you feel that’s the way you really want to live. Give more, share more, don’t try and impress your friends with your cool “stuff” it’s completely shallow and merely another mask you stand behind. Work on yourself, your self esteem, your personal development, and become the kind of person people want to have around just for being you, not because of all the things you have.
Most people feel the need to have stuff to prove they are successful to others. What is there to prove? Do you like to prove you’re insecure about how great you really are? Covering it up with a bunch of inanimate objects screaming “look at me, I think I’m important, can you tell me if I really am?” You are the only one who decides if you are important; don’t let society dictate that for you.
Don’t forget everyone else is doing the same thing, give them a pat on the back and they will feel much more awesome, teach them to be ego free and they can learn to feel awesome for life.
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Your Ego is Holding You Back
April 4th, 2008
Feeling you need to prove yourself to others is an issue that will definitely hold you back when you’re learning how to become good with women. When you started, you were probably humble (well, you have to be to admit that you need help with women) and you would have gained some success… and then you will start getting less and less results. Why is this?
It isn’t like your skills suddenly disappeared. It’s not like you’ve changed: you are still you. But your expectations have changed. Your criteria for fulfilling the needs of your ego have changed. When you started out, you were probably thinking, “Yeah, I might not be that great with women so I’ll try this stuff out”. So you try it out and get some success… then now you’re thinking, “Yep, I’m good with women. Nothing can stop me now”. That’s where things start to go bad. You won’t open sets because your EGO says you’re good with women and it KNOWS if you try to approach women and they “reject” you (in reality, NO woman that you only just met can EVER reject you), it pimp slaps your ego and tells it the truth: that you might not be as good as you think you are.
Proving yourself CAN be good for your game. Given the right frame of mind, you might do amazingly well. However, most of the time it will really mess your game up. For a while after I started, I was having much more success with women than I EVER had before. This all went to my head and the few weeks after that, I felt like the success I was experience before MUST happen EVERY NIGHT otherwise it meant that it was all only luck and nothing to do with my skill level. Thinking back, ALL I was thinking back when I was having this success was… “I’m having fun, this is fun and I’m going to try these things out to see if they work”.
When I was having the success I wasn’t thinking, “Yeah I better do this or I’ll show to myself (or others around me) that I’m bad with women”. This mentality does not help one bit. Trying to prove yourself to others does not help. So how can we stop ourselves from falling into this ego trap?
Most of the time, I’ve been finding that I do pretty well when I don’t have wings (friends there to help me out with meeting women). I’ve been arriving at venues a little earlier than my wings and I start talking to girls instantly. Why is this? I’m a social person and if I have no one to talk to, I feel itchy. When I have friends around, I spend a lot of the time talking to them, and as I’m talking to them I have less energy or motivation to talk to other people. But it’s also the fact that I feel that I need to prove myself to them. I need to make sure they have respect for me. I’m thinking of what THEY think of me.
Get rid of that mentality. You WILL develop on your own pace. This PRIDE that you develop does not help you one bit. Being humble and accepting that you need to learn this step by step, and knowing that you WILL make mistakes is the way to go. No one will think less of you for it. Everyone will think highly of you. Why? Because you will be improving. You will be doing better than anyone else WATCHING you improve. Anyone else who is GOOD at this stuff knows that you need to go through the learning process: they have all been through it.
Have fun,
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