Get Off Your Ass
December 19th, 2008
If You want to be better with women turn off the tv, get off the couch, unplug your computer and go out to your nearest club/bar.
If you would like more women in your life, stop reading theory online and discussing it with your other 10 introverted buddies determining whether it actually works or not.
If you want to be liked by more women stop trying to dismiss advice given to you by those who have been in the trenches and had the experience.
If You apply it, it does work, just because your a theoretical psychologist with a phd in social psychology doesn’t mean shit, theories are all well and good but they won’t get you laid.
Less Excuses, More Action.
You’ll never get better sitting around at home reading.
You can’t learn to ride a bike by reading a book.
You’ll learn more from a night of clubbing than a month of reading info online.
The Field is King!
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Why Women Date Bad Boys And Marry Nice Guys
October 22nd, 2008
This is a dual posting between Hot Alpha Female and I, You can find her video at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UKLwtQ3T3c4.
You can read her full post on her blog at: http://hotalphafemale.blogspot.com/2008/10/five-minute-find-woman-wednesdays-why.html
Enjoy, SolaceTo recieve more amazing content like this every day Subscribe to our Newsletter for free Instantly. Every day you’ll recieve heaps of amazing content you won’t find anywhere else. Click here to Subscribe Now.
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Why Pickup Lines Don’t Work
October 13th, 2008
Welcome to my first ever video 
Pickup lines are both the saviour and the bane of many men, promising quick instant results with little effort. Unfortunately there is a down side to them in that they can improve your game… momentarily, but keep you stuck in a rut that is hard to get out of.
Enjoy the video and if you have any questions you’d like me to answer, feel free to contact me through the contact form and I’ll do up a video to answer your question and help you out.To recieve more amazing content like this every day Subscribe to our Newsletter for free Instantly. Every day you’ll recieve heaps of amazing content you won’t find anywhere else. Click here to Subscribe Now.
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The Most Awesome Book Ever
October 11th, 2008
If you’re lazy and don’t feel like reading the whole of 100 words below (seriously I’d do the same, you don’t want to listen to my dribble), you can grab the book at: http://www.sinnsofattraction.com/ (It’s free BTW)
Wow! Seriously I’ve read a LOT of ebooks in the past few years and tell you what: 95% of them are either
a. Junk
b. Rehashes of generic information
c. Make no sense AT ALL
But guess what? I’ve found it, the holy grail of ebooks! (lol no seriously, I’m not even being dramatic here)
Sinn Just released his Game Acceleration Doctarine and it is PHENOMENAL! (and free!)
This is the guy that teaches THE GURU’S and takes their game to the next level, and he most certainly knows his stuff, in fact I love his blog so much I even linked to it in http://www.letsinspire.net/blog/2008/best-of-the-best-pickup-resources/
Anyway enough blabbering you can download the book at: http://www.sinnsofattraction.com/
Once you’ve read it, come back here and post your thoughts. I’d love to know if it answered any questions you’ve been having or if there are area’s you’d like more help with.
Enjoy it!
– SolaceTo recieve more amazing content like this every day Subscribe to our Newsletter for free Instantly. Every day you’ll recieve heaps of amazing content you won’t find anywhere else. Click here to Subscribe Now.
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Push the limits
October 2nd, 2008
Do you often hesitate when going to kiss a girl, simply because your afraid of losing her? Do you ever keep your distance from women because you don’t know if you should? Do you hold yourself back from funny remarks because you’re not sure if she’ll like it? You’re making one of the worst mistakes you can possibly make.
I’ve been there before and seen so many other guys go through the same horrible phase, where they start off by discovering pickup, then go out and try a few cool lines and get a few giggles… however that’s generally where it ends, and the problem isn’t not knowing what to do next, because I’m pretty sure you and most other guys know roughly what to do. The problem is so many guys hold themselves back because they are just too damn afraid of losing the girl.
From an initial perspective it looks like the right thing to do right? Play it safe so you don’t lose the girl? The truth is you are a lot more likely to lose a girl due to being too timid than being too aggressive. Why? Because women want a real man who can lead the interaction and sweep her off her feet, if you’re sitting around talking about nothing for 2 hours straight without even so much as a kiss, she’s going to start looking for someone with more balls who can give her the fun she truly desires.
If you aren’t constantly escalating physically (going from light touching, to holding hands/arm around waist, to kissing, to heavy make out, to taking her home and having sex) she’s going to think either you’re not interested, or you haven’t got enough balls to do anything further, both of which have a bad outcome for you.
The other even more significant problem is, if you don’t push yourself to be better and try new things every time you go out your learning is going to be very very slow. The only times you learn new things is when you *surprise surprise* do something new!
But what if she’s your perfect girl? Wouldn’t you want to take it slow so you don’t lose her?
NO! We’ll ok there’s slow, and then there’s slowwww, most guys do the latter… It’s ok to take a few hours and have a date or two between kissing and sex, but if you’re waiting around for an hour before even TOUCHING her or have been on a few dates without even so much as a kiss, she’s going to be walking (especially if she’s a hot woman with options).
When starting out your goal should not be to find your perfect girl, because chances are, if you aren’t good enough you ain’t going to be able to keep her (of course this depends, if she is your perfect girl intellectually it may be a different case, but 99% of guys I know who say they met their “perfect girl” in their first few months of clubbing usually just like her because she’s hot, or because its the first girl they’ve had who likes them back in a long time). When you start out your goal should be to learn and improve yourself to a point where you are attractive to most women, it doesn’t mean don’t date anyone, do that if you wish, but go out each night with the intention of pushing every conversation and interaction with women you have to the limits.
By Pushing the interaction I mean throwing your ego aside and doing things you’d normally never do. Things such as:
- Being more overtly sexual
- Approaching in different ways (being very direct and telling her she’s hot vs being subtle and asking an opinion vs just being friendly)
- Being louder and more energetic
- Saying things you’ve never said before that may push the limits of normal social conversation
If you go out every night and don’t do anything new, if you just be your normal self and don’t push the interaction you’re going to learn incredilby slowly. When you finally do come across a girl you really like, you won’t know what to do, where the conversation boundaries are, how to calibrate to her giving different tests and so on, in turn, losing the girl.
Remember that the goal here (speaking for 95% of guys) is not to try and have a perfect date or interaction with every single girl we meet while out sarging. The goal is to have the right attitude, vibe and skills so that when you do meet an amazing girl, you can keep her.
By holding yourself back you’re only delaying the learning process. How can you possibly know what her limits are and what she likes and doesn’t like if you never experiment, try new things out and push your comfort zone?
Would you much rather get along with every woman you meet (90% of which won’t even remember you in clubs/bars), but struggle to attract the girls you really want? or get rejected by a few women to learn and improve yourself so in time you can be with any girl you desire?
When I think about it nearly every single learning or growth experience I’ve had in my life has been when I’ve pushed myself to the limit and gone way out of my normal comfort zone. I’ve also noticed some of the most fun nights out have been when I’m completely in the zone of not caring and just doing what I want, without giving a damn what the woman I’m with thinks.
There are so many times I’ve done crazy wacko things which I was sure wouldn’t work and amazingly, they did! (Like being overtly sexual, pulling a girls hair, dirty dancing on the dance floor) it’s amazing how many things I’ve always thought “will never work” from social conditioning, yet work so well, and I never would have found out unless I went outside and just tried it.
I’ve been blown out, called horrible words, been slapped, the lot, and you know what? It’s all worth it. Just finding the sweet spot and being sexually calibrated, knowing when and where to say certain things, when you should put your arm around her, when you should go for the kiss, when you should be inviting her back to your place etc puts you above 99% of guys out there… seriously, most guys never learn this simply because they are too scared to get rejected.
What would you rather? Going through life like an average guy getting average results, or spending 2-3 months of getting blown out and rejected by girls only to be a better man than 99% of guys for the rest of your life?To recieve more amazing content like this every day Subscribe to our Newsletter for free Instantly. Every day you’ll recieve heaps of amazing content you won’t find anywhere else. Click here to Subscribe Now.
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Looks DO Matter!
July 20th, 2008
No no no, I haven’t had a change of heart and suddenly realized women want looks just as much as men, because they don’t, and if you think they do… we’ll your beliefs are about to be explained.
I’ve been thinking about the looks issue a lot lately, and it’s never really seemed to just click into my reality. I hear Tyler Durden in RSD’s Blueprints explaining deeply that looks DO NOT Matter, they aren’t even a good bonus to have with women, and it was only a tiny percentage of women that would hook up with a guy just because of his looks.
This really didn’t click with my reality as when I’ve gone out clubbing nearly every one of my female friends would hook up with guys just because they are cute/hot without saying a word. I was thinking, “hey wait… is Tyler actually wrong about something… I mean he’s been with a lot more girls than I have, maybe my perception is wrong”. It was then I realized the key thing I was overlooking, and was completely blown away by how simple this issue is, and that is:
Women Will Prejudge you based on your looks!
Yep, it’s not that you look good, it’s the fact that they see guys and immediately within seconds figure out where he is placed in society, whether he is preselected (by being cute), whether he is dominant and a leader (by being bigger than the other guys), whether he is some kind of rockstar/celebrity (by dressing like one) etc. It’s kind of like having a pre-conversation with the guy simply based on how he looks.
This also explains why looks completely do not matter when you begin actually talking to a girl. Previously it was hard to explain the phenomenon of when 2 guys are competing over the one girl, one extremely hot and one average/ugly looking, if the ugly looking guy has even slightly better game than the hot guy he will get the girl. We as guys see this and immediately believe “oh looks just don’t matter at all”, when in fact we’ve just generalized and because of that fail to see where looking good can actually help us out.
The girl will simply prejudge both the guys and place the hot guy higher on the social ladder with more of the traits she enjoys, and she may even hook up with the hot guy without saying a word because of what she believes, but once she talks to both for a while she will judge them more on what they really are rather than prejudice and looks WILL NOT come into the equation.
Thinking about it further, it really doesn’t matter if you dress up as a rock star/pimp etc when you go out as all it simply does is changes how you feel about yourself and girls respond to that, they will prejudge you and you may get a few easy make outs however once you begin talking and getting to know each other what you look like doesn’t even come into the equation.
A lot of my female friends have been chatting up guys in clubs and have come back to me saying “I wish that guy would just shut up, it would be so much hotter”. The guy was hot and she simply wanted to live in their own dream world where the guy had all the traits she desired, as soon as he opened his mouth however she could see the real him and the fact that he was incredibly hot didn’t matter one bit.
It’s amazing seeing this discovery as you can start to realize that if you get better at being with women you can get that woman you desire no matter how hot the other guys pawing over her are. Simply because after just 10 minutes of conversation what you look like fades into nothingness and the emotions she feels will simply come from what you say and how you act (body language etc).
This really fits into my reality as well as that of what Tyler was mentioning on blueprints and in my opinion explains exactly how the looks game works for men. Is this true for you?
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7 Steps to Getting a Phone Number Off Any Woman
June 15th, 2008
One of the common recurring themes I’ve had in recent emails is that many guys don’t understand these articles because they are too advanced, they haven’t even talked to a single woman outside their workplace in over 5 years!
So this article is for those who are just starting out, which is honestly The Hardest part of all. Once you have mastered the art of just talking to women you don’t know everything really starts to click into place.
This Guide is made to be done in public (on the train/bus, at the mall) and is supposed to be done over a week, read one step a day and do it that day. Feel free to read all of them at once, but don’t try to apply every tactic at once. By applying one at a time each day you give time to let it sink in and influence your subconscious mind, then the next day that step will be dead easy and you can move onto mastering the next step, until you reach the very end.
If you take it day by day by the very end you shall be a master of the art of getting phone numbers, which is honestly the hardest thing to learn simply because it’s the first one. Once you can do this, you can go on many dates, meet plenty of new women and live a life of abundance dating more women than 99% of other men, all it takes is that first step.
Step 1: The Approach
You see her walking towards you, the stunner, the most amazing figure of beauty you’ve ever laid your eyes on. Your eyes meet and you can almost feel the electricity in the air. You try to say something to no avail, only a squeak comes out so soft even you can barely hear it. Within moments she is gone, never to be seen again…
Ever been in this situation? Yea me too, it’s a lot harder than it looks. You can beat this fear however, and the key is: practice. You don’t want to feel let down next time right? So let’s get started right away.
Your first task today is to say Hi to 5 random women, you don’t need to carry on a conversation although you can if you wish. It may seem basic, but do it even if you think it’s dead easy, for it will get you that little bit more warmed up for the following days.
Step 2: The Opener
Of course, I wasn’t going to have you saying Hi forever. Today you get your first opening line, something you can ask women without seeming intrusive or coming off as a creep. It’ll get you well on your way to starting a full meaningful conversation.
The opener for today is:
“Hi, I’ve only got a moment but I was wondering what you think are the most fashionable shops for men my age”.
It’s simple, subtle and gets her talking. The “I’ve only got a few minutes” is thrown in there because when you first talk to a girl the first thing on her mind is “what does this guy want” and “how long will he be here for” it gets rid of that negative though in her mind when she realizes you’ll be gone in a moment and she no longer needs to worry if you’re going to be stalking her for the rest of the day.
Best of all, she will give you a woman’s opinion on what clothes she likes, all you have to do now is give your wardrobe an upgrade with the suggestions from today.
Your task today is to tell this (or another opening line) to 5 random women in the street, you can carry on a conversation if you wish, but it is not required.
Step 3: Conversational Topics
Next up is having a conversation, scary I know, but really once you’ve done the past 2 steps and are already talking to her it’s very easy to lead into a conversation.
For having a conversation it’s best you talk to women on the train/bus as opposed to walking on the street, as they are there for the journey anyway and won’t suddenly rush off on you or say they don’t have time to talk.
Some of the best things to start a conversation about are:
- Current Events – Keep it Positive! Find an article in a recent newspaper that is more positive (or if say it’s about the recent earthquake talk about how great it is that the country is helping etc rather than the quake) and talk about that. Start off with “Hey did you hear about…” Eg:
- “Hey did you hear about that blind girl with a beautiful voice singing last weekend”
- “Isn’t it amazing how much this country is helping our friends over in china”
- Celebrities – There’s always some celebrity getting a lot of press and women just love to discuss them. The more outrageous thing they’ve done the better.
- Travel – Talk about how you recently went to x and did this and that. Or you could blend it in with the opener from day 2 and talk about what’s the weirdest kind of fashion they’ve ever seen.
Now these topics aren’t necessarily the best to talk about once you know her, they are the best for now because they need more than yes or no answers but they don’t require too much thinking (most women will have opinions on all three of these).
Don’t try and think up something on the fly but figure it out at home by yourself first. Figure out what to say and write it down, and then commit it to memory. The best thing is, it doesn’t even have to be true, try making up a random story about the blind girl with an amazing voice doing gymnastics with a clown that had HUGE shoes, who also had a pet elephant named peanut who loved to do the hula. The more crazy and out there it is the more interested she will get and if you can make it so silly she knows its fake it’s hilarious too.
Once you have started with a topic like that you may start talking about yourself / her, but the number 1 rule is: “NO Job Interview Speech”. The Job interview goes like this:
You: “So what do you do”
Her: “Im an accountant”
You: “where are you going”
Her: “to work”
You: “how is your work”
Her: “good”
Etc.
You may ask her what she works as, but once she explains, explore the topic a little. Talk about other friends doing something similar and what they like, ask her the kinds of things she does (so long as it’s not boring). Keep the conversation lighthearted, not about boring stuff like work.
Your task for today isn’t as big as the last but will be more challenging than the rest. It is to have a conversation with at least 2 women. Approach and open as many women as you like, but your goal is to carry on a conversation with just two of them.
Step 4: Body Language/Voice
Today is all about the things you do other than talking in the conversation: Body Language, Your Voice and Your Energy Level. Body language is the simple one because there are just 2 key things to remember:
- 1. Talk to her side on rather than completely facing her. When you approach her start talking from a side on position (so you look to your side to look at her). As the conversation progresses angle your body in a little bit towards her more and more. If you walk up and start talking directly facing her it gets her a little creeped out, as you seem to be way too eager to talk to her and are semi invading her personal space.
- 2. Don’t lean in. When you lean in to hear her more you seem way too eager to talk to her and comes across as a bit weird. If you can’t hear her cup your hands over your ear to signal to her to speak up rather than you get closer.
Now your voice is even easier to master. There is only one main thing to remember:
- Speak Loud and clear!
I’m amazed at how many guys walk up and barely make a whisper when trying to talk to her. Being quiet won’t help at all and if you ever notice her trying to lean in to hear you (or not hearing you at all), speak up more.
Energy is the last thing many guys miss. Your energy level is kind of like your excitement level, often I see many guys come in very boringly, they stroll up, give them *the interview* and wonder why she didn’t want to talk to them. Always approach in a happy state, with a smile on your face, if you look unhappy or angry she will start feeling the same way talking to you and will no longer want to talk.
Come in bubbly, smiley and in a fun mood, then treat the conversation in the same way, always keep it upbeat and if you come across a negative topic (like she starts talking about how much she hates work) change it immediately, don’t keep going on a negative topic no matter how intriguing it may be.
Your task for today is to have a conversation with 2 more women and focus on your body language, ensure you are getting everything right before moving onto the next task.
Step 5: What you don’t want to talk about
Along with the good topics there is also the bad, and the bad are pretty much anything that every other guy talks to her about, which include:
- The weather – Can you say BORING. Just don’t go there (unless there is like something really cool happening with the weather)
- Negative Events – When you talk about negative events, she will get into a negative state, her brain will associate that negativity with being around you and her unconscious mind will make her want to get away from it ASAP (unless she is a very negative person herself, which really isn’t someone you want to get caught up with).
- Yes/No Questions – Ask her open ended stuff that she has to explain, not yes/no questions.
- Boring Topics – If she starts getting onto something boring, turn it around into something more fun ASAP, or change the topic completely. Boring topics are those without any real emotion behind them that she could literally say on autopilot like “oh I’m an accountant, I type stuff” or “yea my day was good” etc.
These are the core 4 that you shouldn’t talk about, and really all it comes down to is keeping the conversation lighthearted, upbeat and fun.
Your task for today is to have 3 conversations with women, and try and keep them as upbeat and happy as possible, as well as stretching them out for as long as you can.
Step 6: Intriguing Her with Stories
Stories are great because the keep the conversation flowing, as well as being able to show off good points about yourself. Now the great thing is you don’t need to make up stories on the fly. First up think of the 3 funniest or most fun things that have happened in your life, or even just one will do in the beginning.
Now try and exaggerate that story (add flying pirate ships and a daring escape from danger if you like, it’s funny). Make sure you don’t exaggerate in order to impress her (like “oh I did like a thousand pushups easy”), but rather exaggerate it in order to be more silly and out there, she can see right through you trying to impress her and making her laugh makes you stand out a hell of a lot more in her eyes. Now write down in dot point form how this exaggerated version goes. Finally remember all the dot points and tell it to the next girl you have a conversation with.
Your task for today is to think up and write down one story in dot point form. Then tell this story to the next girl you have a conversation with. Figure out how she responds to different sections of the story and when you get home tonight tweak the story so it’s more appealing and cut out the sections that really didn’t work.
Step 7: Getting her Phone Number
The lesson you’ve been waiting for: Finally bridging that gap between the future date potentials and the girls you’ll never see again: the phone number. Amazingly for such a big thing, getting a phone number is a lot easier than you think.
One of the best ways was taught to me by an old friend, and it goes like this:
You: “Hey do you have email?”
Her: “yea”
You: “great, write it down here”
Her: *starts writing*
You: (as she gets up to the @ symbol) “just write your phone number down there too. “
Often women can be attracted yet not give their number because they just don’t give out their number to anyone but their closest friends/relatives. Email is ok though because they can simply ignore your emails if they don’t want to talk and there is no harm done.
The clincher in that you ask for her phone number as she is writing down the email is that she already has the paper and pen there, so she may as well just write it down. Using this technique is by far the best way I’ve used to get a woman’s phone number and it’s only on very rare occasions will she give you her email but refuse to write down her number.
Your task for the final day is to get a phone number of any women. This day can go for as long as you like until you have a number, just don’t give up on trying!
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