With all this talk about being the “alpha male”, the dominant rock in life to attract women in our eBook it’s no wonder guys are getting so confused over whether they should be the alpha testosterone pumped, bodybuilding, dominant sex-beast or the metro, emotionally-in-touch, best friend guy (most often promoted by movies and the media as the best way to be). The cool thing is, you can actually be both, just don’t take them to extremes.
Let’s call it alpha vs. metro, and this is my (very stereotypical) view of both styles:
Alpha
- Dominant
- Into Boxing/Football/*Manly Activities*
- Doesn’t care much for women
- Generally called “The Jerk Boyfriend” by Women
Metro
- More Submissive
- Into more intellectual things
- Deeply cares about women (and what they think of him)
- Often mistaken as being gay
Complete stereotypes of course but I think you get the picture. Most people fall in between but are told by the media and women to gravitate towards one or the other. Is this a good idea? Nope.
A Lot of people have said I myself am very girly, which I guess I quite true, and it has had both its upsides and downsides for me. The main thing which sets me apart from other guys is simply that I never chose to be more feminine, it was simply a habit of growing up with a sister and having many female “friends” (but alas no dates). I kept going on that route though because pretty much most of my female friends simply told me “You’ll find the right girl eventually” and Hollywood agreed with my decision, oh how wrong that was.
Being very in touch with this feminine side of myself has been great for me helping me in the dating game in the past few years, but it did have a downside. In the past it was horrible for me, because I gravitated towards being the very “metro” kind of guy and it was the reason I got many female friends but no dates. Often I would hang out with them a few times and get told “You’re just like a big brother”, “You’re such a good friend” or any other number of lines pretty much all meaning: I’m not going to get laid (as is the goal of every teenage male in the world ;)).
On the flip side is the alpha guy. I have a few friends that fell very much into the alpha category and it worked out better than metro (we’ll they got a few girls at least), but there was a catch, they could never keep the same girl for more than a few months at a time without it turning into a horrible relationship (often involving many fights over misunderstandings and subsequent breakups and makeup’s).
The key I realized is that these two personality types both activate different areas of the brain, while the metro guy appeals to a woman’s logical side, the alpha guy appeals to her emotional side, thus the key to being all-round attractive was to integrate both.
The Metro guy is great at making friends because in a logical sense he is everything women want: a great friend, able to understand her emotions (in that they feel sad when she does, can comfort her better than alpha guys can etc), and are able to talk with her for as long as she likes. They also generally get more approval from her friends and family because from their logical standpoint they can see he is a nice, kind guy.
The Alpha guy is better at getting dates because in an emotional sense he is everything women want: a strong leader, a guy that knows what he wants and being far more independent than other guys.
Now you may say emotions are all women run on: Not True. It is true that in the beginning emotions is all there is, and emotions are actually stronger than logic (also that she will often Backwards Rationalize her emotions to make more logical sense). The problem comes when her friends are taken into the equation, and often they can see the situation from a more logical standpoint, if they see she’s going downhill being with you (as she would be with most alpha guys), they will do everything in their power to pull her out of it. Not only this, if you are logically a good choice you will get approval from her friends, her workmates, her parents, and she will feel more and more comfortable hanging out with you.
So is it ok to be “Metro”? We’ll yes, but not in the way the media portray it. Don’t turn into her best friend where all you are doing is hanging out shopping, crying together over soppy movies and never having any sexual tension. To be truly successful ensure you are giving her the emotions she needs to see you as an attractive guy (namely those in the eBook) of dominance, being a leader, not caring what she thinks of you (being independent), while still staying in touch with your feminine side. Harness your feminine energy, but don’t turn into a woman 
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