Lets Inspire

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Feeling you need to prove yourself to others is an issue that will definitely hold you back when you’re learning how to become good with women. When you started, you were probably humble (well, you have to be to admit that you need help with women) and you would have gained some success… and then you will start getting less and less results. Why is this?

It isn’t like your skills suddenly disappeared. It’s not like you’ve changed: you are still you. But your expectations have changed. Your criteria for fulfilling the needs of your ego have changed. When you started out, you were probably thinking, “Yeah, I might not be that great with women so I’ll try this stuff out”. So you try it out and get some success… then now you’re thinking, “Yep, I’m good with women. Nothing can stop me now”. That’s where things start to go bad. You won’t open sets because your EGO says you’re good with women and it KNOWS if you try to approach women and they “reject” you (in reality, NO woman that you only just met can EVER reject you), it pimp slaps your ego and tells it the truth: that you might not be as good as you think you are.

Proving yourself CAN be good for your game. Given the right frame of mind, you might do amazingly well. However, most of the time it will really mess your game up. For a while after I started, I was having much more success with women than I EVER had before. This all went to my head and the few weeks after that, I felt like the success I was experience before MUST happen EVERY NIGHT otherwise it meant that it was all only luck and nothing to do with my skill level. Thinking back, ALL I was thinking back when I was having this success was… “I’m having fun, this is fun and I’m going to try these things out to see if they work”.

When I was having the success I wasn’t thinking, “Yeah I better do this or I’ll show to myself (or others around me) that I’m bad with women”. This mentality does not help one bit. Trying to prove yourself to others does not help. So how can we stop ourselves from falling into this ego trap?

Most of the time, I’ve been finding that I do pretty well when I don’t have wings (friends there to help me out with meeting women). I’ve been arriving at venues a little earlier than my wings and I start talking to girls instantly. Why is this? I’m a social person and if I have no one to talk to, I feel itchy. When I have friends around, I spend a lot of the time talking to them, and as I’m talking to them I have less energy or motivation to talk to other people. But it’s also the fact that I feel that I need to prove myself to them. I need to make sure they have respect for me. I’m thinking of what THEY think of me.

Get rid of that mentality. You WILL develop on your own pace. This PRIDE that you develop does not help you one bit. Being humble and accepting that you need to learn this step by step, and knowing that you WILL make mistakes is the way to go. No one will think less of you for it. Everyone will think highly of you. Why? Because you will be improving. You will be doing better than anyone else WATCHING you improve. Anyone else who is GOOD at this stuff knows that you need to go through the learning process: they have all been through it.

Have fun,

Shift

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Technorati Tags: ego seperation, feel great, get rid of worry

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