Social pressure is the driving force behind many of your actions. It’s probably the reason why you stutter and laugh uncontrollably when a beautiful woman stares at you or when you look down and avoid the stare of a police officer. It controls our actions because we feel the pressure bearing down on us and most of the time, we just crumble and succumb to it. Of course, this mechanism can be good: it can stop you getting in trouble or doing embarrassing things. However… a man who cannot resist social pressure is very unattractive.
Ideally, you want to become the source of social pressure. But its pretty ridiculous to think that you can read this article and start becoming super awesome alpha man ultra straight away. So here are a few tips for you to start developing your resistance to social pressure:
1. HOLD EYE CONTACT
HUGE. You have no chance of success in most social interactions if you cannot hold eye contact. Fortunately, everyone has a pair of eyes so you can practice holding eye contact with everyone you interact with. Practice with family, friends, shop attendants, waiters/waitresses and so on. Remember to keep your eyes relaxed with you keep eye contact otherwise you might look crazy or like you want to fight. Especially with other males.
2. AVOID FILLING UP EMPTY SPACE
Say you tell a joke. RESIST laughing at your own jokes straight away, until someone else laughs. The gap between your joke and when other people laugh is social pressure. This goes for talking too much as well. People who are insecure in themselves want to talk over silence because they can’t handle the social pressure.
Just learn to talk and then hold eye contact after you’ve said your bit. Then wait. The other person inevitably will say something to continue the conversation, its just normal. The same goes for jokes. Say the joke, eye contact and wait. It doesn’t matter if they don’t laugh (which would be rare). You were confident in the delivery and that’s what matters.
Don’t take this too far however, if you make a joke then stare at the person you are conversing with waiting for a response it comes across as very needy of approval, simply say what you like and if nobody laughs, who cares, move on and keep on talking.
3. USE EMPTY SPACE TO YOUR ADVANTAGE
Create your own spaces in conversation. For example, you’re talking to a particularly attractive woman and she tries to test you and throw you off guard by saying something like “you’re just a player who wants me for sex aren’t you?”. A perfectly effective way of dealing with this is holding eye contact with her and not responding at all until she smiles and goes, “What?!”. This can be used in many situations (I remember my parents using silence to a devastating effect when disciplining me).
4. MAINTAIN COMPOSURE
Firstly, a main key to body language is always to be relaxed and to restrict your movements to the necessary. I find that keeping that in mind, I don’t visibly react to most social pressure. It’s always important to remember that social pressure is mostly around to test your strength, if you always stay relaxed and composed, your voice is always at the same volume/quality and so on, it shows that you’re not really affected by social pressure.
5. DO SOMETHING CRAZY
You need to get used to receiving social pressure from everywhere. Go put yourself in situations which will test you, push yourself outside your comfort zone. Whether this is by approaching and talking to tons of women or by dancing in the middle of the street. Actually, go do both of those. The more exposure you have to social pressure, the better you will handle it provided you know how to.
I hope these tips help you along your way to your social goals. Feel free to email me questions or comments at feedback@letsinspire.NET and have a good day.
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