Lets Inspire

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We all have perfect game. I know you are awesome and have so many amazing things that women would love about you. From the Little quirks you have to the grand ideas about the future of the world, the government and everyone, you are destined for great things if only you could express yourself. The only problem is, nobody can see this, because of a multitude of social barriers we all employ within ourselves that stop our true selves from coming out.

Social barriers are simply layers that we have built around ourselves to protect us from the outside world, they are barriers we put up when meeting new people which protect us from being emotionally hurt when talking to others. Introverted people aren’t actually introverts at all, but rather extroverts who have many social barriers inside their head that stop them from saying certain things. If you look into people’s thoughts, you’ll often find both introverts and extroverts think about the same amount of stuff, however introverts simply have more filters in their head that tell them “don’t say that, it’s stupid” or “you’ll get rejected if you tell her you like her” etc. Extroverts on the other hand don’t have these barriers, so they may say more stupid things from time to time, but on the whole they are generally more the life of the party because they talk so much that these stupid things just fade away in the conversation. No one really notices the bad things they say as they are strung among many good conversational topics or people simply forget about them.

Deep inside you know that you are a special person, you are different from everyone else and you have your story to tell, the problem is, with all these social barriers that are holding you back you just can’t explain to the world and especially women how amazing you really are. Only when you get drunk do you rack up the confidence to talk to them and by that time you can’t really control what comes out of your mouth, often offending and seeming like a loser to these people. This is definitely a problem that can be fixed, I’ve been there, and its taken me well over 3/4 years of solid talking practice to get to my current social self. I don’t just mean living a normal go to work, get home, sleep kind of life, but I’ve been going out to parties, social events and practicing my speaking and its still taken me that long to come out of my shell, so If I can do it, you can too.

One of the main reasons these barriers are in place is because of events that happened previously in our lives that stop us from doing things in the future. Maybe your parents scowled you every time you talked about something they thought was boring, or your friends thought you were a loser when you discussed camping in the wilderness. So now you feel pressured to shut up in fear of people disliking you. The reason why alcohol takes away these social barriers is because when you are drunk you aren’t thinking of the past, normally you may think something like “we’ll I’ve always been rejected when talking to women in the past, so I’m not going to open my mouth” while when you are drunk you don’t think of this and just keep talking. Also when your drunk your not thinking into the future, you don’t think “I’m never going to score a women of this beauty” and you just have a good time.You forget about what others think about you and are just completely in the moment having a fun time. The key now is to be able to do this without drinking.

So one of the first keys to getting over social barriers is to completely switch off your past and future thinking. This is something that often happens when you get into state after approaching about 4-5 groups of girls out clubbing and you start to feel that surge of energy rushing through your body. You sort of semi go into a drunken state but without the slurred words and stupidity coming out of your mouth and it really makes you very attractive to women. Start practicing going up to people and introducing yourself without a single thought, just try to make your mind a fuzz of static and don’t care what you say next, just say hi and slowly over time start getting into a conversation (anything goes, talk about your shoes, alligators or global warming if you wish). Practice going up to people (women aredefinitely the hardest) and just

The other reason they crop is because we are thinking so so much inside our head that we are drained from all the talking and can’t express ourselves verbally. It’s amazing how much goes on in your head when out talking to people “will they like me” “is my hair out of place” etc. Turning off these little voices could possibly be the best thing that happens to you, just turn them off completely and focus on the moment, focus on people around you and the conversations taking place and if your currently in a conversation focus 100% on that. Of course from time to time you can think “I should do x now” but never think self consciously, never think about yourself and/or what the other person thinks of you, because remember, they are thinking the exact same thing of themselves and honestly, nobody ever cares. Everyone is so selfish that they think “what does everyone think of me” When in fact nobody is thinking about anyone else so it just doesn’t matter.

So stop thinking about the past and the future, stop being self conscious and definitely thinking inside of your head. Just let go and be your best self, not the shallow, meek, shy version of yourself you usually present to strangers but the fun, happy, awesome self that you are around your best friends and family. Strangers feel exactly the same shyness and fear when meeting you so be the better man and show them how confident and amazing you really are. Pretend that every person you meet is a long lost friend and treat them in exactly the same way as you would if they were a long lost friend you just met again.

Have Fun,

– Solace

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